Stop the presses! White people are becoming extinct! Hispanics don't only want to take your job, they want to take your whiteness away too, by infusing it with their hispanicism!. This is the funniest article ever. Either MSNBC is in on some white power propaganda or what the hell is this? Are we supposed to be worried? Am I imagining that there is a tone of alarm in this article?
Update 8/25/08: No lie. Since I made this post, MSN has changed the title of their article from: "By 2044 Whites No Longer in Majority" to "America in 2050: Even Older and More Diverse." Way to make it sound like you're promoting diversity instead of racism! I guess I wasn't the only one who was appalled by the tone of the original title. However, you can't polish up a turd and tell me that it's gold, thanks anyway MSN. Fuckers.
I've had a lot of wild nights in my life. I mean, on an average, far more than most people. I'm almost thirty years old and I've been partying since I was 13. In that time I've lived in places like Los Angeles, Ashland (OR), New Orleans, New Jersey and New York, and of course, I've traveled to many others. In all of those places, I have become pretty well versed in what constitutes a good time as far as nightlife is concerned. But let me tell you that last night was one of the craziest and most entertaining nights of my life. It wasn't any one thing in particular that made it so, it was the whole combination from beginning to end.
It started with me waitressing and my good friend, the dark and charismatic Matt bartending and this great, smart, mercurial Mexican named Rego making pizzas and sweetfaced Pete of only 17 years old busing tables and barbacking. It was just the four of us opening up the joint last night and once we opened, it was pretty slow all night. Wouldn't call it dead, we still made tips but it was slow.
As the night wore on, Matt started receiving text messages on his phone from friends saying they were on their way and my friend Pilar called and said she was on her way. It was her night off, so she was coming in with boys to drink and have good times. Before long the bar was full and everyone was drinking and Rego was done making pizzas and Pete was gone, off to Hockey practice or some such wholesome teenagerly activity. We changed the Pandora station to some kind of salsa, oh yes, Aventura! Everyone was on the stripper pole.
We have a stripper pole at my job. Nobody has gotten naked on it yet, but it's not going anywhere so we'll see. The boys are really good at it. Core and upper body strength are a requirement. One guy, Bobby, gets completely upside down. I danced on the bar. I'll admit that I danced on the bar. Do you know how rare it is that one is having such a good time and in a setting which invites them to dance on the bar or tables? Usually it is not recommended and not appropriate. In this case it was highly advisable to dance on tables, get upside down on a stripper pole, have shots slurped out of your belly button and make out with whoever was standing next to you. In other words, it was magical. On top of that, the people were just wonderful. A truly great bunch of hammered individuals. Thanks everyone.
Still, I think I may have been the first to leave at around 4 o'clock in the morning. Called a car, took it home, tried to engage in a halfway sober conversation with my cab driver and really only succeeded in making it halfway, as I remember painfully struggling to articulate any kind of thought process. Got home, did not pass go, did not collect 200 dollars, put on a pair of sparkly knit winter tights for no apparent reason and got into bed to sleep unmoving (except to take off the tights), for 7 hours straight.
Today my back hurts, I feel like I'm still drunk, I don't know what the hell happened last night. But there's something about that which is extremely satisfying to me. It's never like that when I bartend. When I bartend it's this civilized crowd that has to get home because they are in law school or working a job early in the morning, but when Matt bartends, he has a way of attracting a wild and debaucherous scene. I really admire that. Don't worry mom and dad! I'm just having a little fun. Being single is not so bad.