By Beauty Damned

Thief

I'm on vacation at my parent's house in Oregon. So far it's been a really nice relaxing time, aside from one minor detail. My purse was stolen in a bar last night. I love it when shit like that happens while you're supposed to be relaxing. I'm trying not to stress out about it. But I'm pretty pissed about the loss of my driver's license, my ATM card and my $200 handbag. But these are all just possessions. These are all just possessions. These are all just possessions. It can all be replaced. It's all going to be okay. New ATM card is on its way fedex. Original birth certificate is on its way. And there will be other handbags. Fuck.

Update: The purse has been found. Apparently, I am just another victim of a poltergeist. Phew. There is nothing like a good scare to put you in a great mood.

The Only Movie

Fahrenheit 9/11 was absolutely AMAZING. There's no way to describe the impact of this film. A person can only go and see for themselves. I can say that Moore did an excellent job of letting most of the footage speak for itself, though he did make a couple of cheap shots. But they add humor and the real stuff that matters is clear as day.

When I left the theatre I felt both astonished and sad. Really, really sad. I cried several times during the movie. The kind of tears that don't make a sound, they don't even jerk on you from the inside. They just roll, irrepressibly down your cheeks. Seeing footage of the faces of people on the street looking up at the World Trade Center after the planes hit. That really brought up a lot of intense memories and emotions. Seeing a man in Iraq throwing a dead child into the back of a truck full of bodies. Seeing the violence and terror in the street that we brought there. People being blown up. Seeing the faces of soldiers. Just kids. Talking about feeling scared and unsure of why they are really there. Not wanting to die, but knowing that the chances are pretty good. Seeing a mother from a big military family, suffering the loss of her son in Iraq and falling apart with grief. Asking why. Asking what her son died for. Reading his last letter. So many times I was brought to tears.

Other times, there was so much laughter. So much irony. It was extremely well done. So, Michael Moore, thank you for your contribution to the awareness of others. This movie will go down in history.

Groty to the Max

You know, I've heard a lot of things in my day, but this takes the tamale.

In the petition, the attorney general charged [Judge] Thompson used a penis pump, a device billed as providing sexual pleasure and promising better erections and larger penis size, during trials and exposed himself to a court reporter several times while masturbating on the bench.

"On one occasion, Ms. (Lisa) Foster (Thompson's court reporter for 15 years), saw Judge Thompson holding his penis up and shaving underneath it with a disposable razor while on the bench," the petition reads.

Several witnesses, including jurors in Thompson's court and police officers called to testify in trials, said in the petition they heard the "swooshing" sound of a penis pump during trials and saw the judge slumped in his chair, with his elbows on his knees, working the device. The witnesses said the pump sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up.

If you'd like to see a picture of this pervmeister, see here.

First the masturbating. Then the shaving and exhibitionism (not the kind of exhibit anyone wants to see)....but the PUMP? Good grief man! Where the hell are you? Are you in court, presiding at the bench? Or are you in another world? One where fervent sexual conduct is acceptable while court is in session? Get a grip. On second thought. Don't get a grip. Get a room! Preferably not one located in a courthouse. And I've seen people clipping their toenails on the subway before, but shaving your balls in public???? Who does that?

Props

I think a little love for Mayor Bloomberg is in order. I don't agree with the man on all of his views and policies, but I have to give him credit for sticking it to other politicians where it counts.

New York City gets shortchanged on everything from schools to homeland security, while rural areas outside of the five boroughs receive far more public funds across the board. Why? NYC is the most high risk area in all respects. Our schools need the most help and our security is obviously vulnerable 24/7. Remember the WTC? Or is that just old news already? Are we no longer at risk of terror attacks? Are little towns upstate in greater danger of attack and therefore entitled to a bigger cut of federal and state funds? Obviously not. So what's the problem here? Why is NYC always getting the short end of the stick?

Bloomberg is also fighting the good fight with respect to gun laws. He is right when he says "...how can you look at what happens in the inner city streets, and even in small communities? There are just too many guns on the streets." If you read the news in NY everyday and saw how many subway shootings there have been lately, you would have to agree.

I find it laughable that republicans who are aggravated by Bloomberg right now claim that he is only doing these things to score points with democrats in time for re-election. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! How any career politician could point a finger at Mayor Bloomberg, who is not a career politician, and claim that Bloomie's number one concern is re-election, has obviously not been paying attention throughout the duration of his mayoral career. Don't get me wrong, everyone wants to get re-elected, but Bloomberg has never been a popularity whore. He's been quite frank in telling NYers that he's doing what he thinks is best for the city and he's never been concerned with his approval ratings, as long as he's doing what will benefit NYers in the long run. Whether or not he's always doing the right thing from my perspective is not as significant as the fact that I think he genuinely cares about manifesting benefit and safety for the general public.

I remember when Bloomberg won the election. Rob fumed. Then he started to fall for Bloomie and we got in a couple of arguments about his policies. But over time he grew on me too. He's real. Not a phony. And I can't help but respect that. He's shown an earnest concern for the homeless and his desire to find better ways to deal with the root causes of homelessness, he's worked hard to close the huge budget gap (even when it meant sacrificing his approval rating in light of property tax hikes and what many perceived as a massive ticket blitz), he's made a huge effort to reform the city's education system, (though not always in the ways that I think would be most effective - at least he's trying new strategies) and in general I think he's been an acceptable mayor.

High five Mike!

Pure Glee

Charles just called to tell me that he got tickets for me, Rob, Kat and himself to all go see Fahrenheit 9/11 on Friday at 9:30 p.m. SO EXCITED. Just can't hide it. I'm about to lose my cool and I think I muthafuckin like it. *Dancing* This movie is to me what the Passion of the Christ was to Jesus lovers. I didn't see the Passion, nor will I probably ever go out of my way to see it, just as many republicans won't ever go out of their way to see Fahrenheit 9/11, but the ones that do, Get Ready Bitches!!! It's all about a one-term president.

To all of you people out there trying to keep this movie out of theatres, check yourselves into the nearest mental facility please, and leave the movie going to those who can perfectly well decide for themselves whether or not they want to see a controversial documentary. Assholes. What I love the most is the funtastic irony of the film being named Fahrenheit 9/11 as a hat-tip to Ray Bradbury's amazing novel about a totalitarian society, not unlike the one that these Moore-hating, censor-wielding fascists would create if they really had their merry way. All the while claiming to be patriotic, freedom loving Americans, oblivious to the fact that they couldn't possibly be more hypocritical or any farther away from a realistic self image.

So, to all you fascists out there, don't go see the movie. Nobody will miss having your stank ass in the seat next to them, but for god sakes, find something else to do other than frothing at the mouth about the fact that others are exercising their freedom to speak about the government. Remember that war over in Iraq, the one where we are supposedly defending freedom? Why would you want to turn America into a place where speaking out against the government was forbidden? Am I the only one who finds that incredibly dumb? I guess not, if the war is not really about defending freedom as much as it's about exerting control as some people are trying to do with respect to this film...hmmm.

Just Shoot Me

I'm at work for the first time since I threw my back out again. This. Sucks.

Crippled Again

I threw my stupid back out again. Five days before I'm supposed to get on an airplane for eight hours to Oregon. Luckily, it's not quite as severe as the last time when I could barely walk, couldn't sit at all and got stuck in bed for a week. At least this time I can walk, albeit like a 100 year old woman, and sitting is bearable for periods of time.

This all happened because I spent seven hours straight yesterday doing spring/summer cleaning and after it was all over I decided to spraypaint a table. That was what killed me I think. Before I went to bed last night I was in pain so I did some yoga stretches before going to sleep. I woke up at 4 in the morning in excruciating pain.

So I called in to work and went to my chiropractor who was very optimistic and claims I should be well enough to get on my flight on Saturday. But it looks like I'm going to be spending the day in bed tomorrow too. Damn back. Why does it have to be so damn temperamental?

Frenching

But really, who needs fake news, when you have true stories like this one?

JUNE 17--Meet Pamela Johnson. The 43-year-old Minnesota woman was swapping spit early yesterday morning with her boyfriend at her St. Paul home (the couple, together for about six months, were making up/making out after a fight). That's when, for no apparent reason, Johnson allegedly bit off about an inch-and-a-half of her 47-year-old boyfriend's tongue. The man was treated at a local hospital and released, but St. Paul cops were unable to track down the missing tongue and think [WARNING: you may gag if you read further] that Johnson might have swallowed her beau's tongue. Arrested for assault, Johnson was booked into the Ramsey County jail, where officers snapped the below mug shot.

Holy bejeezus, I genuinely feel bad for this guy, even though I have no idea what kind of stupid shite he must have done to get his girlfriend angry enough to bite his tongue off. Then again, sounds like she's probably just a psychopath. Sucks to be him. Though, apparently, he's not as pissed as you'd think, since he didn't kill her as some would have done.

Fake News

I've tried not to speak badly about Ronald Reagan since his death, just out of basic, human respect. Though I have to admit I was a little appalled by the weight and syrupy consistency of the coverage. Seriously, I don't see that there is anything to be gained from criticizing his presidency now, though I hope people realize that the almost nausiating and persistent hailing of Reagan's congeniality in the media was so overboard. (Though, quite honestly, people just seemed to eat it the fuck up). If I had a dollar for every person who has said, word for word, "he may not have been a great president, but he had such a way of connecting with people! And such a great sense of humor!," I would be a rich woman. It's really schmarmie and I can't take it anymore. So here. The Onion has a couple funnies this week:

And there's the news in brief. Sometimes this fake news is practically indistinguishable from real news:

66 Percent Of U.S. Citizens Object To Torture In Nonetheless Frightening Poll CAMBRIDGE, MA—The results of a USA Today-CNN-Gallup poll released Monday show that 66 percent of Americans object to the use of torture during times of war. "We can be proud that the majority of citizens stand against our military personnel's use of torture," Harvard statistician William Stover said. "And it's somewhat comforting that, of the 34 percent of Americans who advocate torture, 72 percent said it should be used only when other methods of discipline have failed." Reassuringly, 97 percent of Americans were against the torture of U.S. soldiers or citizens by non-Americans.

And finish with a sharp one (let's not forget this is a parody people!)

WASHINGTON, DC—According to key members of the Bush Administration, the tragic proceedings of the 9/11 commission, which devastated the political lives of numerous government officials, could have been averted with preventive action in 2002 and 2003.

"A few adept legislative maneuvers could have saved the reputations of hundreds," President Bush's counterterrorism chief Fran Townsend told reporters Monday. "Had we foreseen the dangers of the commission's deceptively simple requests, we could have spared dozens of victims from the shocking, public mangling of their careers."

"It's tragic," Townsend added. "All those political futures snuffed out as millions of Americans watched on television. And to think there was a remote chance that they could've gotten our president."

Although there were only 10 commission members, they worked with shocking efficiency, and served to carry out the decisions made with the help of a much larger network of government employees.

"The frighteningly resolute faces of commission chair Thomas H. Kean and vice-chair Lee H. Hamilton are familiar after several weeks of frenzied media coverage, but the commission's roots run deeper," Townsend said. "The thing that keeps me awake at night is the number of advisors who are still out there today, secretly evaluating our policies. We have no way of knowing who might be called forth by a panel in the future."

"You see the vast scope of the problem," Townsend added. "We're fighting a whole new type of enemy—one that hides among its victims."

National security advisor Condoleezza Rice said that her office did not receive any intelligence regarding the commission's scope until it was already in place, and therefore was unable to implement a strategy to thwart its efforts.

Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-CT) agreed.

"Nobody saw this coming," Lieberman said. "With 20/20 hindsight, of course, we know that if [House Speaker Dennis] Hastert hadn't let Public Law 107-306 come to the floor in November of 2002, we could have saved many of our colleagues from their sad fates."

"Yes, if various departments had communicated certain intelligence, many of our colleagues would not have found themselves trapped under mounds of paperwork," Lieberman said. "But, as tempting as it is to point fingers, we need to move forward and look at how we can prevent another 9/11 commission from happening."

George Tenet, who recently resigned as director of the CIA, was among the high-profile casualties of the commission's investigation of key government agencies. According to Alan Fenton, Tenet's public-relations-crisis manager, Washington "seriously underestimated" the commission's power.

"Everybody thought, 'Ten guys, sitting together in some room somewhere, armed with only the power of subpoena—who could they hurt?'" Fenton said. "No one guessed that a commission this small could inflict so much political damage."

Defense lawyer Mark Agara, who has provided legal counsel for many of the commission's victims, blamed party insiders' short-sightedness on what he termed a "pre-9/11-commission mindset."

"A panel criticizing the actions that the administration took in response to the most devastating terrorist attack in history?" Agara asked. "People never considered the possibility. But now, here we stand—whole departments ripped apart, agencies in ruin, and, worst of all, the job security that government employees once took for granted gone forever."

Capitol Hill, ground zero for the investigation, is still reeling in the wake of the 9/11 commission. Americans from across the country continue to offer prayers and assemble candlelight vigils outside federal buildings that contain the offices of the fallen-in-stature.

"Think not only of these poor politicians, but of their families and their staffs," said Gerald Davis, spokesman for Stop The Panels, a group of advocates for the unseen victims of investigations. "Anyone who works for an important Washington politician has been touched by this tragedy."

Posted by Maria at 02:09 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

BFF

It feels like it's Sunday night to me, I have no idea why. But it's not. It's only Saturday night and I have a whole nother day off to look forward to tomorrow. Kathleen and Charles are staying with me for a couple of weeks until their apartment is ready so I have to do some deep cleaning before they get here on Monday evening. They're also going to watch the house and feed Matilda while Rob and I are on vacation in Oregon. I love having them. They are the best houseguests. They always clean up after themselves and help make dinner and they like to take walks and it's so fun having my best friend over everyday. Even after more than ten years of friendship, I never get tired of her. Nearly every single memory I have of us is a happy one. Even the few times where we bickered seem funny and if there was a time when one of us was truly upset or hurt, it has come to seem like another colorful moment in the mosaic of memories that have accumulated over the years. Kat and Chas haven't stayed over at my house since they moved to NY a year ago, so I'm really looking forward to the extended visit, even though they live less than fifteen minutes away from me as it is.

Kat and I met in highschool creative writing class in Ashland, OR and quickly discovered that we both lived in Southern California most of our lives, had just recently moved to Oregon with our families, and that we had the same interests. Kathleen and I had many crazy adventures together. She moved into this big green haunted house in the woods with a bunch of other people we knew and I stayed there with her almost every night when I was 16 and 17. We had little single mattresses that we slept on and we got up and drove to highschool together every morning. We partied together, traveled together, and got in trouble together. (Though she was always the innocent seeming one). We drove all up and down the west coast in her little gold Taurus, "Margaret" (she gave it an old lady's name because it was a kind of old ladyish ride). We got identical tattoos on Venice Beach and got drunk together in TiJuana. We bathed in freezing cold rivers together in Canada and in 50 cent laundromat showers in Washington. We drank Pina Coladas by the pool together in Las Vegas and partied at Mardi Gras together in New Orleans. We have slept in the car together, camped in creepy places together, squabbled over who got to wear the favorite pair of high heels or the best skirt, swam in the Pacific and Atlantic oceans together -- witnessing the sunset at one and lamenting having missed sunrise at the other...and through it all we have each filled several journals and spent many, many hours side by side or sitting across from eachother, writing, reading or painting, as that has remained one of the strongest bonds between us, our love of all things art and literature.

Kat's the brunette. I guess I was feeling a little serious that night.

That's us. Bad girls forever. Who ever knew we'd end up in NYC, 3,000 miles from the small town where we first met, as adult women, living independently in this big wide world? It still sort of amazes me that we've stuck together one way or another all these years. I guess that's what having a real friend is all about.

Please Stand Up

I am surprised that this is the first I've ever heard of stand-up urinals for women. I know, I know!!! It's such a turnoff to think of a woman standing up while peeing! The horror! Well you know? I think it's fabulous. Truly. I'm not sure how the hell they work, but I'd be willing to find out. Women don't have it easy. As far as bodily functions (not to mention all the other functions) go, we're a lot more complicated than men. Unless of course, you live in Cambodia. But those aren't really the kind of complications I was thinking about. Any little scrap of technology that can make things less of a hassle is greatly appreciated.

Faith v. Responsibility

I just finished reading that book "Under the Banner of Heaven" by Jon Krakauer. It got me thinking a lot about religion. The positives and negatives of deep religious faith. But most of all, how a zealous religious belief can cause people to feel justified to do "crazy" things. Things like committing mass genocide, flying planes into the World Trade Center or attacking an entire country in an attempt to eradicate a culture or ideology and replace it with your own...

Krakauer's book focuses on fundamentalist mormonism. Of course, the myriad negative byproducts of mormonism (or any religion) aren't condensed only in the fundamentalist sect, having originated in the mainline church, but, having been sufficiently suppressed there (at least outwardly), fanaticism has been carried on mostly within what is considered the fundamentalist church. I have to admit that a lot of what I read in the book scared me. Mormons have an intensely fanatical and violent history. I also found many of the common practices and beliefs of mormonism to be reprehensible. (This is all despite the fact that my mother's side of the family is mormon, though she abandoned the religion immediately upon reaching adulthood).

As I'm sure you could have guessed, I can't talk about religious zealotry without mentioning our current presidential administration. While I was reading the book, I noticed a lot of parallells, not within the specific beliefs of mormonism as compared to other religions, so much as within the mindset of those who adopt religious beliefs to an extreme. Mormon fundamentalists are no different from fanatics of other religions. Their specific beliefs may be different, but the fervor with which they carry the torch is the same. I am not condemning unshakeable religious faith as an ideal. Only that which often results. To each their own, until those who hold such faith cannot tolerate the diversity of others or attempt to rule society as a whole. Some believe there is no way to practice a religion other than to allow it to consume you. And perhaps they are right. To follow a religious text half-heartedly, or a "watered down" version, would be to betray your faith, right? Well I don't really know the answer. But I like to believe there is a feasible middle ground. I was raised Tibetan Buddhist. We were wrapped in a blanket of faith. It intertwined with almost everything. Religious beliefs extend into many other areas of our lives beyond those times when we are actively observing our religious practices. (Hence the separation of church and state to protect from political leaders running the country based on their religious beliefs).

Morality for us was determined through the lense of Buddhism. Killing is the ultimate sin. Ego and pride are dangerous. Compassion for others is important above all else. Gossip and jealousy are sinful. Many of these principles lie in quite a few religions. But in an attempt to adhere to relgious texts too strictly and without exception, people often miss the point of living. In my opinion, to LIVE is not to anticipate, contemplate and prepare for death, rebirth, enlightenment or redemption every day. It is not to dwell in how you will secure yourself after death, for that is a morbid way to live and defeats the mystery of sentience. To me, religion is a guideline to determine right and wrong in one's personal life and a spiritual tool in times of questioning your purpose. If you take it to the level of fundamentalism, it becomes an unhealthy obsession, and the pursuit of total adherence to the teachings of the religion becomes an exercise in egoism itself. I think my mother realized that just before she ultimately became disillusioned and was slapped with the label of Heretic by her fellow Buddhists.

As for politics, without the separation of church and state, our political climate would change so drastically with each new leader and politicians would find it impossible to reach level ground, as religious beliefs would become a dictating factor in every discussion. Actually, that's not a lot different than it is now. Our current president believes himself to be a soldier of god. ("God wants me to be president" - George W. Bush). This worries me, because I believe the man's motivations lie more in his loyalty and service to what he interprets as god's will (as filtered through his feeble mind) than to the will of the people of the United States, or to the peace and prosperity of all people, not just Christians or those who could possibly be converted to such. His opposition to stem-cell research on the grounds that it goes against his religious beliefs is one of those particular issues where a shudder goes up my spine. To think that the President of the United States would block the development of scientific research that could conceivably cure many of the serious diseases facing humans now -- based on the conviction that it destroys a day old embryo -- should be a serious concern. (Don't forget, this is the same man that supports in-vitro fertilization despite the fact that it destroys human embryos). Bush better watch out for the Reagans on this one. It looks like they're after him. As for the rest of this bible thumping administration, I consider them a real danger as well.

Soggy Campground

Why do I find it extremely hard to believe that this was just an inadvertent error or miscalculation?

Released in April, the State Department's annual report on global terrorism incorrectly declared that terrorist attacks declined in 2003. But figures from a corrected report "will be up sharply," State Department spokesman Richard Boucher has said.

...After the report's release, top Bush administration officials pointed to it as a sign that the war on terrorism was succeeding.

I have to hand it to Powell though. The man has enough integrity and guts to come forward and admit when something is wrong. Speaking of which, I loved the admission regarding the evidence presented to the U.N. Security Counsel in the rush to war:

In May, he said much of the sourcing for his February 2003 presentation to the U.N. Security Council -- in which he outlined the U.S. arguments in favor of the invasion that ousted Saddam Hussein from Iraq -- was "inaccurate and wrong and, in some cases, deliberately misleading."

Take that Bushies! Keep denying that there was anything deliberately misleading about the Bush administration's efforts to invade Iraq. The proof is in the mutherfuckin' puddin', bitches!

As for this terror memo, in light of all the "alarm bells" that were presumably going off when it was being researched, drafted, reviewed, revised, finalized and distributed, it seems pretty obvious to me that there was a political spin behind this and it's just too bad for the administration that it got found out. But I'm sure it did it's job. There was still time for many indiscriminate Americans to gobble it up and stuff it with their stash of other falsehoods perpetrated by the Bush administration, such as that all the 9/11 terrorists were Iraqis and the massive stockpiles of WMDs have been found and/or used.

Powell deserves credit though for clearly establishing his status as a decidedly unhappy camper on the subject of the manipulated terror memo. Whether he is unhappy about the lies, or unhappy about the lies being discovered, I'm not positive, but I assume it is the former.

Not Cool

This entry over at D's made me sad. Not only because I've known D since highschool and she is one of my best friends, but I know how hard she has always worked and how her parents have struggled. D has had a job for as long as I've known her. She always saved her money and lived on her own, paying her own rent and bills and food, always trying her hardest not to be a burden on her parents. I have always admired her for that (among so many other things).

So when she posted this entry which included a link to this article, I felt her frustration and indignance. Why should hard working people (or anyone for that matter) have to suffer like this in the richest country in the world? And why isn't more being done to prevent the flagrant misuse of our hard earned tax dollars? It infuriates me to think that D and her parents have worked all these years, paying their taxes and being productive members of society, but they should have to struggle when the going gets tough, while greedy, indifferent politicians squander their blood, sweat and tears. It disgusts me that every day social services and programs are denied funding and unemployment benefits minimalized, but there is plenty of money for our government to waste on, literally, NOTHING. Unused airplane tickets, over-indulgent expenditures, fraudulent expense claims, contracts for blood sucking corporations...it's endless.

Something has got to be done.

Stevie

Was watching a rerun of The Cosby's when Stevie Wonder made a guest appearance. He sang I Just Called to Say I Love You. I forgot how much I love that song and what a wonderful voice he has. Clear and pure and thick with soul.

Okay, so I'm a total cornball, but I had to print the lyrics. It's so good and brings back the happiest memories.

No New Years’s day To celebrate No chocolate covered candy hearts to give away No first of spring No song to sing In fact here’s just another ordinary day No april rain No flowers bloom No wedding saturday within the month of June But what it is Is something true Made up of these three words that I must say to you

I just called to say I love you
I just called to say how much I care
I just called to say I love you
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart

No summer’s high
No warm july
No harvest moon to light one tender August night
No autumn breeze
No falling leaves
Not even time for birds to fly to southern skies
No libra sun
No halloween
No giving thanks to all the christmas joy you bring
But what it is
Though old so new
To fill your heart like no three words could ever do.

I just called to say I love you
I just called to say how much I care
I just called to say I love you
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart

Misbehavin'

I know she's a rockstar and everything, but Courtney Love is out of control. And not in a fun way.

Courtney Love has been charged with felony assault for allegedly battering a fellow female rock singer with a liquor bottle and metal flashlight during an April attack at the same Los Angeles home where the troubled performer was arrested last October. According to the below June 2 criminal complaint--which charges Love with assault with a deadly weapon--the performer attacked Kristin King, a 28-year-old singer/guitarist who fronts an L.A. rock trio.

...A spokesperson for the L.A. district attorney said the April 25 confrontation occurred at the home of Jim Barber, Love's ex-boyfriend... . Love arrived at Barber's home that morning and, once inside, began throttling the music producer. King, who does not know Love and was sleeping on a living room couch when the melee started, got injured when Love picked up a nearby bottle of booze and crowned her with it. It is unclear when Love will appear in Superior Court to answer the latest charge, which carried a recommended bail of $55,000.

I know it's great publicity and everything to be the baddest, raunchiest (most violent) girl on the block, but this chick makes Madonna in the 90s (or ME in the 90s for that matter) look like Mother freakin Theresa. (Madonna's always been a big advocate of making love, not war). But I guess Crazy Courtney will go down in history, and it looks like that's all she wants anyway.

SOS

Anyone can have a "blog." So David Berkowitz types up his entries on paper and scans them onto his webpage. Hardly a blog in the sense that most of us know them, but a blog nonetheless.

I heard a blurb on NY1 this morning while I was getting ready for work that some victims' families are angered by the fact that he is allowed to have an online journal. I honestly don't know why anyone would be outraged by the existence of this site. As if that is some kind of tangible freedom for him? The man is going to be behind bars for the rest of his life. So he gets to share his thoughts with anyone who might be interested in reading them. What harm does this cause and what freedom does it afford him outside of that which he is entitled to regardless of whether or not he is imprisoned: freedom of speech?

While looking for links on this I found that Gothamist got ahold of the cover of the Daily News today with its typically hysterical headline.

While I'm on the subject of the Daily News, I have to tell you how much I despise that "newspaper." It is such a sensationalist piece of crap. The worst of the worst when it comes to so-called "journalism." It's Fox News wrapped up in a shitty tabloid-esque publication. The editors never fail to take a biased approach in their headlines and "reporting." One that really annoyed me was how the Abu Ghraib scandal received such minimal attention, yet two days later, after Nick Berg was murdered by who-knows-who, the word "SAVAGES" was splashed across the cover in a manner obviously intended to demonize the enemy (those savage, dark skinned, primates of the middle east). They rarely accurately report the facts and never take anything less than a frenzied approach to current events. It's all about dramatization and reactionism and has nothing whatsoever to do with real information.

So the Son of Sam's face (or rather, his face 35 years ago - couldn't they get a current picture?) is zoomed and the word "OUTRAGE" is stamped above his head. What is so outrageous about this schmuck having his own website? It's not any more outrageous than all the other creeps out there who have their own websites. As my friend Tyler used to say "This is not news. Where's the news?" It's not as if he's preaching about satanism and how you should get a gun and go blowing people's brains out. He's not begging for mercy or sympathy. He writes about whatever he feels like. Whatever is going on in the world that interests him. I say: let the repenting monster be. Even I can agree with the Born Agains on this one.

Note: This entry was slightly revised due to obsessive compulsive-ness.

Sad Mingles With Sweet

Why are stories about whales always so heartwarming?

This poor Orca got separated from his family and has been living among the boats and float planes in a bay in the Canadian Pacific for a few years now. Scientists are going to take him back to his "pod." (Those aquatic scientists are such nice people).

Orcas, or killer whales, normally spend their entire lives with other members of their pod. Scientists do not know if Luna, whose official designation is L98, became lost or was kicked out of the family unit.

Canada and the United States agreed late last year to move Luna, but had to wait until L-pod returned to the Strait of Juan de Fuca, where it spends the summer swimming in both U.S. and Canadian waters.
…
Luna will stay in a pen in Pedder Bay until L-pod swims into the area and he makes vocal contact. Scientist admit they do not know if the pod will accept him back since it is unclear how he became separated.

Maybe he was excommunicated from the Church of Killer Whales and shunned by his clan, forced to live out his days in solitude. :o(

I sure hope he just lost his way and they accept him back. I love sea animals. They are enchanting and mysterious.

Final Bow

A legend has passed.

"Music was one of my parts ... Like my blood. It was a force already with me... It was a necessity for me, like food or water." - Ray Charles

Ghastly

We all know that Halliburton is continuing their renowned fraudulent activities in Iraq. I knew that they overcharged our government $1.09 per gallon on 57 million gallons of gas. I knew they billed for at least three times the meals actually delivered to troops. But I was freshly appalled to read about the conditions of the facilities being used to prepare food for the military.

The Pentagon reported finding "blood all over the floor," "dirty pans," "dirty grills," "dirty salad bars" and "rotting meats ... and vegetables" in four of the military messes the company operates in Iraq, NBC said, citing Pentagon documents.

The report came as President George W. Bush fended off Pentagon reports that Halliburton-KBR overcharged US$61 million for gasoline it sold the military in Iraq. Dick Cheney ran Halliburton for five years until becoming vice president."

Now I don't know about you, but where I live, those conditions will have a restaurant or cafeteria closed down in a matter of minutes due to health hazards and sanitation violations. It's not bad enough these soldiers are fighting this crooked war, we are paying Halliburton to inflict salmonella, ecoli and common food poisoning upon them as well.

Meanwhile, Time reported on Monday that a Pentagon e-mail stated that Vice President Dick Cheney coordinated a huge Halliburton government contract for Iraq, despite his denial of interest in the company, which he ran until 2000.

These scumbags just can't resist helping their friends, no matter the cost to American taxpayers.

"As vice president, I have absolutely no influence of, involvement of, knowledge of in any way, shape or form of contracts led by the Corps of Engineers or anybody else in the federal government," Cheney told NBC's "Meet the Press" in September, Time reported. …

Cheney had been Halliburton's chief executive until 2000, when he accepted the vice presidential spot.

Unfortunately for Dick, the email obtained by Time contradicts the aforementioned statements made in September.

Top Pentagon official, Douglas Feith, got the job of shepherding the contract, according to the latest edition of the weekly magazine.

Feith approved the multibillion-dollar deal "contingent on informing WH tomorrow," the e-mail said, referring to the White House. "We anticipate no issues since action has been coordinated" with the "VP's office," it added, referring to Cheney's office."

The newsweekly said that Halliburton won the contract three days later, and that no other bids were submitted.

Now that is the mug of a truly crooked man. Four more years of him running the show and maybe we will be too emersed in shit, lies, emissions, debt and war to even breath.

Darth Vader strikes again. Now my little Bushy Bushies, close your eyes, shake your heads back and forth and repeat after me: "it's all okay. It's all okay. Our government has our best interests at heart. It's all okay. It's all okay." Ignore that voice in the back of your head screaming at the top of its lungs "these crooks are robbing us blind!!! This war has nothing to do with terrorism or freedom!!! It's all about the Benjamins!!!"

Mystery & Hypocrisy

TIA now verifies flight of Saudis

"The government has long denied that two days after the 9/11 attacks, the three were allowed to fly..."

The mystery behind this particular flight only builds in the article.

Now why would our government lie about a thing like that?

Of course, why would they lie about the multitude of things they have apparently lied about, beginning with Bush's campaign promises? It really strikes me as ironic that the Bushies would paint candidate John Kerry as a "waffler" when their own candidate is the king of flip-flops. So if Kerry is a waffle, then Bush is a pancake. Burn!!!

All In Fun

According to this quiz that I took from Cul's place, these were my first results:

Which 1990's Subculture Do You Belong To?

[Another Quiz by Kris
@ couplandesque.net]

Okaaaay. I do love Tupac and a lot of other rap and hip hop music. I do think that for the most part, I am tough (except when I trip on the subway and fall apart like a little baby), but aside from a few cholas and vatos who used to watch my back in junior highschool and the kids that I sometimes hang out with now in Brooklyn, I never was glued into the "gangsta" subculture. It's true that I won't back down for anything and I will always stick by my friends. But I took the quiz again. I answered two questions only slightly differently. This time, it came up with this:

Which 1990's Subculture Do You Belong To?

[Another Quiz by Kris
@ couplandesque.net]

For those who can't read it because of the idiotic black on grey combination, it says: "You belong to the punk subculture. You follow your own rules and won't listen to anyone who says you should change. You hate unfairness, bigots, the government, and authority. You're pissed off at the world." That's pretty accurate. Again, I never did belong to the mainstream punk "subculture," because I never felt it was necessary to conform to that appearance. Punk rock is in the heart. My dad the lawyer is punk. Punk to the core. You either are or you aren't and I think that deep down that music often reflects principles that I believe in. But you'd have to kill me to make me dress like that. It's good to be diverse. Some days I feel like I'm taking a punk rock approach to life. Some days I feel like I'm taking a quiet, more contemplative approach. And sometimes, I just feel like bouncing to some hip-hop. Right now, I feel like going home and cranking up the Op-Ivy.

Footing The Bill

This is an interesting article:

The current costs of the Afghan and Iraq Wars have been reported at $191 Billion. Divide that by the current population in the United States 294,000,000 and that comes to $650 a person. About $2600 for a family of 4. The Bush Administration is going to ask for an additional $50-85 Billion to cover expense for one more fiscal year.

Let's assume they ask for another $70 Billion. That would bring the total to $261,000,000,000. Divide that by the population (294,000,000) and you get...$887.75 per person, or $3551 for a family of four.

It is important to note that the money being spent on the war is being directly added to the record $7.2 Trillion (That is $7,200,000,000,000) National Debt as there are not enough revenues coming into the goverment to pay for the costs. Divide the $7.2 Trillion national debt, but the 294,000,000 residents of the United States and you have $24,490 per resident, or $97,960 for a family of four.

Just to be clear on the amount that Bush has added to the national debt during his presidency. Here are some further statistics. Bush was inaugurated on January 20th, 2001. At that time the National Debt was $5,706,174,969,873.86

The National Debt as of 6/7/2004 is $7,212,924,994,568.87

That means in just 3 short years Bush has increased the national debt $1,506,750,024,695.01 a 26.5% increase. To bring it home, Bush has added $5125 per person to the national debt, and for our happy little family of four? That is $20,500.

The national debt is ultimately the responsibility of the taxpayers. While defense contractors make billions and billions on war, the average person gets the bill.

For links to sources, visit the article itself. What astounds me the most about the cost of the war is that war profiteers are getting rich off of those dollars (interesting: "More than 70 American companies and individuals have won up to $8 billion in contracts for work in postwar Iraq and Afghanistan over the last two years, according to a new study by the Center for Public Integrity. Those companies donated more money to the presidential campaigns of George W. Bush -- a little over $500,000 -- than to any other politician over the last dozen years, the Center found.") American taxpayers are getting ripped off by companies like Halliburton who are not only being rewarded by this administration for their fraudulent pasts, but have no qualms about continuing their nefarious price gouging policies. What arrogance. And while they get rich, we get poorer. But that's just the way this administration works I guess. It's big business baby.

Bloody Slippery

BREMEN, Germany (AP) -- A truck carrying 9,000 gallons of pigs' blood was rear-ended and spilled its entire cargo on the German autobahn Wednesday, forcing the highway to close for several hours.

Grooooooss!!!!

A Case of the Mondays

I got mad at Robert before I left the house this morning because I was in a hurry to catch my train and he was in the bathroom reading the novel that I have been reading. I asked for it back so I could read it on the train and he ignored me because he thought he was being cute, not realizing my urgency to exit the house. But I am PMSing and NOTHING is cute when you're PMSing. You just want people to do what you ask and make it snappy. So I ended up snatching the book away from him and running out of the house because I was worried I was going to miss my train. I had to run in high heels and I could hear the train coming and then I had to rush down the stairs and right as I got to the bottom, the train doors closed. I cursed myself because I didn't want to be late to work. Then (by the grace of some evil god) the train doors opened again and I leapt on in the nick of time, but my stupid heel caught on my stupid trousers and I tripped, face forward and landed sprawled on the floor of the train. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I burst into a silent, convulsing, torrent of tears and couldn't stop crying because I was so mad and so embarrassed and so angry at the entire world for making people rush to work, for it being Monday, for cute boyfriends who play games, for pointy black heels and long trousers.

Maybe I don't have to tell you that I really hate it when I am crying or angry and someone tries to comfort me. (If it is my boyfriend, or my mommy or daddy or even one of my siblings or best friends, I might tolerate it and even derive a feeling of calm and security from it). But if you are a stranger on the train, especially if you are a man, just stay the fuck away. Don't ask me if I'm okay. Just let me recover. I know you are just trying to be nice. I know that what you are doing is thoughtful. But in my misery soaked mind, you are just an intruder who needs to mind your business. I also don't like to be bothered on the train in the morning. I don't like seeing people I know and feeling obligated to talk to them when I am still tired and I just want to read or close my eyes until I reach my destination. It may seem bitchy, but I am just not a morning person and would prefer not to be bothered.

So there is this guy who I see on the train all the time. He's this older Russian man who lives in my neighborhood. I always seem to see him when I'm in no mood to talk. But he's very soft spoken and has an innocent (perhaps deliberately harmless) demeanor so I would feel bad to tell him to bug off on any regular day. He's invited me before to take his morning walk with him down by the bay. I balked. No way am I getting up at some godawful hour of the morning to go on a walk with some little old man I met on the train. (Deep down I think he's got some notion about having a passionate extramarital mid/late-life affair with a young woman - who can blame him?) Anyway, this morning, after I'd fallen in the most humiliating fashion of my life and been helped up by some faceless stranger before sinking into a seat and putting my face in my hands to hide the hot tears of anger and embarassment from my fellow passengers, this little Russian man came over to see if I was okay and offer his comfort. I could not even look at him. I just asked him to please leave me alone. So he said okay, but continued to stand there. Less than two feet away. Looking at me. I swept my hand up towards him, shooing him away, exclaiming "please. Leave me alone!" So he sat down in the seat across from me and continued to witness my attempt to gain control of myself. I was furious that he couldn't just go back to the seat he'd been in before, in the aisle over, where he could not be privy to my tears. So I stood up and stalked off to the other end of the train where I was surrounded by people who had not witnessed my fall or subsequent meltdown. I regained my composure before the next stop and managed to complete my commute without further incident.

I was actually relieved to reach my office and get a cup of coffee and sit down at my computer and sink into the calm, familiar atmosphere. Hopefully, the rest of the day will be smooth. Of course, there's always the commute home to look forward to. One of the things I loved when I moved to NY was being able to go places and not run into people I know. After living in a place for three years it starts to shrink and before you know it, you're ducking from people you don't wish to run into and suffering encounters with those that you can't avoid. I should start leaving the house fifteen minutes earlier, and perhaps I could avoid both the humiliation of tripping over my pantleg in a mad dash onto the train as well as running into people that I'd rather not.

Twenty days left until vacation. Just twenty tiny little days.

Note: Eight hours ago this was the saddest, angriest story ever. Now, after just relaying the whole story to my best friend over the telephone, it seems like the funniest fucking thing that has ever happened to me. We both laughed so hard when I was telling her the story that the tears started streaming down my face again, but tears of mirth this time rather than fury. Somehow, the image of the quiet train car just before the doors opened again and my gangly body came catapulting into the train and onto the floor in the manner of a total lunatic has taken on the appearance of an SNL episode in my mind. If I think about it too hard, it is sad, but for all historical purposes, it is an outrageously comical story.

It's Good To Be Sane

How does one run up a tab of $129,626.00 at a freaking stripclub? You have got to be out of your goddamn mind. Which, apparently, this guy was. And that happened only two weeks after this other guy ran up a tab of $28,021.00 at the same club. What on earth...? Either both of these guys are telling the truth and Scores is jacking up peoples' tabs while they are inebriated, or it's a more expensive club than I thought. (Or these two guys are just out of control). Anyway you look at it, it's a lot of dough to throw away on naked ladies and booze. Ever heard of moderation? Yeah... not really.

This reaffirms my profound dislike of clowns. Spanky the Clown Pedophile. Yiiiiikes. That is so wrong.

Speaking of things that are so wrong. This woman kidnapped and drowned her boyfriend's puppy. Why? Because she's a horrible person! Who does a thing like that? Only a complete barbarian.

That's it for this installment of the truly sick and twisted. Carry on.

Weekend Update

Kathleen invited me to this bbq last night that turned out to be an incredibly good time. It was at an apartment in Carroll Gardens, some friendly girls who I'd met before. This girl Pippa made a big pitcher of Sangria and since there was no cognac or anything, she added rum to it. Lots of rum. I brought a bottle of tequila, Charles and Kathleen brought turkey burgers for the grill and a case of Sierra Nevada. The burgers turned out magnificent. Needless to say, a merry time was had by all. These girls like a lot of latin music & they had a super cool deck jutting off the rooftop of their three story apartment that provided a fantastic view of both downtown Brooklyn and Manhattan. It was a beautiful night for a rooftop bbq. Some other people brought homemade guacamole and salsa. It was a full on fiesta. There was a lot of rambling stories and laughter. I did several impressions of horror movie characters, including the girl who climbs out of the television in the Ring and the zombies from Dawn of the Dead (the subjects of repeat nightmares). We talked about horror movies for about an hour. Seemed like the conversation never dulled. Everyone had a funny anecdote to share. Not one person seemed standoffish or grumpy.

I came home good and late...and sauced. When I woke up this morning with a faintly throbbing cranium, expecting to spend another hour in bed before getting up and putzing around the house and enjoying the gray, crappy weather that we always get to have on the weekends in NY, Rob asked me if I wanted to work a Heely's demo with him today. I gave in because I knew he could use the help and it's easy extra cash for me going to a sports store and showing little kids how to use these sneakers. If you've never heard of Heely's, they're a shoe that has one wheel in the heel of the sneaker and you can walk, run or roll at will simply by shifting your body weight. They're really fun. I love kids so it works well for me because I basically hang out with them and give them some pointers and hold their hands so they don't fall over the first time they try to roll on these things.

Sometimes the kids we meet are so much fun. One little girl today completely stole my heart. She was about four or five, walking through with her big brother and her daddy. The moment she saw the Heelys she looked up at me with the most humongous smile and the brightest eyes and said "I want them!" We didn't have a pair small enough to fit her. She was the tiniest little thing, but with a willpower much larger than her puny frame. She begged and begged. I said "sweetheart we don't really have them in your size. Maybe another year or two." She said "please! I want them." She held a drippy green and white ice cream on a stick. She had long shiny mussed brown hair, the most precious unibrow and legs like little q-tips sticking out of her shorts. She was so busy begging, that she forgot about her ice cream and it slid right off the stick, bounced off her clothes, her legs and her shoes, and onto the linoleum with a splat. She just looked down in helpless confusion, but looked right back up at me with that blazing smile. After cleaning up the ice cream mess, I couldn't say no to her anymore so I showed her the smallest pair we had, a size 2. She grabbed them from me and sat down on the floor and got them on her feet as fast as she could. I tied them up good and tight for her and she was ready to go.

Now I must say there are a few different kinds of kids when it comes to making an effort to learn something new (especially physically, in front of others). Learning to roll on Heelys is like learning to ride a bike but there are no training weels. Some kids, like this little girl, are incredibly willful and determined. They refuse to give up and they usually get the hang of it really quickly. Then there are kids who are embarassed to look dumb if they don't get it or just have generally low self confidence so they put in half as much effort and of course that's not very effective. They usually end up giving up without getting the hang of it. Then there are kids who are determined, but they just have no sense of balance or equilibrium yet, so no matter how hard they try they just can't seem to make it happen. Sometimes, I have to give up because after much coaching and reiteration, a particular kid just won't follow any instructions and basically does the exact opposite of what you tell them to do. Not precious unibrow. She was on her feet and I was holding her hands and within five seconds, she was rolling, leaning forward, legs locked, perfect equilibrium. She was ecstatic. She begged her father. He said no, no and no. She didn't give up. She said "pleeease!" and "I want them!" about two hundred times a piece. Not in a screaming crying tantrum fashion, but in the most girlishly persuasive manner and with a beaming smile always on her face.

Her father, in his heavy European accent, held his ground with successive "no, no and nos". He eventually hoisted her up on his shoulders and she proceeded to forcefully tug his hair up from the roots while bouncing on his shoulders and begging still for a pair of Heely's. I really felt for him. Her dad said "maybe this nice girl can babysit you, she seems to like you an awful lot." I couldn't help it. She made me laugh so much. She was incorrigible and unbelievably persistent. And still hilariously cute. Certain kids make my day. I really enjoy the times I work with Rob. It's fun to be a team and to spend time with all the different people. No pressure. Doesn't feel like work at all.

On the way back from Long Island we stopped at Kathleen's and had ice coffee and talked for a little while before finally coming home. I made toasty hot dog sandwiches and we were going to go see that movie "Saved," but got lazy at the last minute and now we've rejected the idea in favor of staying home. Rob got ahold of that book I'm reading, "Under the Banner of Heaven," and now he's planted on the couch with it firmly in his grip. He fully highjacked the book I was reading. It is riveting though. He has a fascination with religion so once he started reading this, he couldn't stop.

So I gave up trying to get the book back and have retired myself to cybertown. Sigh. ;o)

He Puts It Well

Read this. Kurt Vonnegut speaks his mind in "Cold Turkey". What a guy. Even in his old age, he's funny, candid and on point.

I like when he slyly refers to the hypocricy of right wing christians:

Doesn’t anything socialistic make you want to throw up? Like great public schools or health insurance for all?

How about Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes?

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. …

And so on.

Not exactly planks in a Republican platform. Not exactly Donald Rumsfeld or Dick Cheney stuff.

For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes. But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course that’s Moses, not Jesus. I haven’t heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere.

“Blessed are the merciful” in a courtroom? “Blessed are the peacemakers” in the Pentagon? Give me a break!
…

I was born a human being in 1922 A.D. What does “A.D.” signify? That commemorates an inmate of this lunatic asylum we call Earth who was nailed to a wooden cross by a bunch of other inmates. With him still conscious, they hammered spikes through his wrists and insteps, and into the wood. Then they set the cross upright, so he dangled up there where even the shortest person in the crowd could see him writhing this way and that.

Can you imagine people doing such a thing to a person?

No problem. That’s entertainment. Ask the devout Roman Catholic Mel Gibson, who, as an act of piety, has just made a fortune with a movie about how Jesus was tortured. Never mind what Jesus said.

During the reign of King Henry the Eighth, founder of the Church of England, he had a counterfeiter boiled alive in public. Show biz again.

Mel Gibson’s next movie should be The Counterfeiter. Box office records will again be broken.

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

But let's start at the beginning:

Many years ago, I was so innocent I still considered it possible that we could become the humane and reasonable America so many members of my generation used to dream of. We dreamed of such an America during the Great Depression, when there were no jobs. And then we fought and often died for that dream during the Second World War, when there was no peace.

But I know now that there is not a chance in hell of America’s becoming humane and reasonable. Because power corrupts us, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Human beings are chimpanzees who get crazy drunk on power. By saying that our leaders are power-drunk chimpanzees, am I in danger of wrecking the morale of our soldiers fighting and dying in the Middle East? Their morale, like so many bodies, is already shot to pieces. They are being treated, as I never was, like toys a rich kid got for Christmas.

When you get to my age, if you get to my age, which is 81, and if you have reproduced, you will find yourself asking your own children, who are themselves middle-aged, what life is all about. I have seven kids, four of them adopted.

Many of you reading this are probably the same age as my grandchildren. They, like you, are being royally shafted and lied to by our Baby Boomer corporations and government.

I put my big question about life to my biological son Mark. Mark is a pediatrician, and author of a memoir, The Eden Express. It is about his crackup, straightjacket and padded cell stuff, from which he recovered sufficiently to graduate from Harvard Medical School.

Dr. Vonnegut said this to his doddering old dad: “Father, we are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.” So I pass that on to you. Write it down, and put it in your computer, so you can forget it.

I have to say that’s a pretty good sound bite, almost as good as, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” A lot of people think Jesus said that, because it is so much the sort of thing Jesus liked to say. But it was actually said by Confucius, a Chinese philosopher, 500 years before there was that greatest and most humane of human beings, named Jesus Christ.

The Chinese also gave us, via Marco Polo, pasta and the formula for gunpowder. The Chinese were so dumb they only used gunpowder for fireworks. And everybody was so dumb back then that nobody in either hemisphere even knew that there was another one.

But back to people, like Confucius and Jesus and my son the doctor, Mark, who’ve said how we could behave more humanely, and maybe make the world a less painful place. One of my favorites is Eugene Debs, from Terre Haute in my native state of Indiana. Get a load of this:

Eugene Debs, who died back in 1926, when I was only 4, ran 5 times as the Socialist Party candidate for president, winning 900,000 votes, 6 percent of the popular vote, in 1912, if you can imagine such a ballot. He had this to say while campaigning:

As long as there is a lower class, I am in it.
As long as there is a criminal element, I’m of it.
As long as there is a soul in prison, I am not free.
Doesn’t anything socialistic make you want to throw up? Like great public schools or health insurance for all?

How about Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes?

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. …

And so on.

Not exactly planks in a Republican platform. Not exactly Donald Rumsfeld or Dick Cheney stuff.

For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes. But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course that’s Moses, not Jesus. I haven’t heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere.

“Blessed are the merciful” in a courtroom? “Blessed are the peacemakers” in the Pentagon? Give me a break!

-------------------------

There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

But, when you stop to think about it, only a nut case would want to be a human being, if he or she had a choice. Such treacherous, untrustworthy, lying and greedy animals we are!

I was born a human being in 1922 A.D. What does “A.D.” signify? That commemorates an inmate of this lunatic asylum we call Earth who was nailed to a wooden cross by a bunch of other inmates. With him still conscious, they hammered spikes through his wrists and insteps, and into the wood. Then they set the cross upright, so he dangled up there where even the shortest person in the crowd could see him writhing this way and that.

Can you imagine people doing such a thing to a person?

No problem. That’s entertainment. Ask the devout Roman Catholic Mel Gibson, who, as an act of piety, has just made a fortune with a movie about how Jesus was tortured. Never mind what Jesus said.

During the reign of King Henry the Eighth, founder of the Church of England, he had a counterfeiter boiled alive in public. Show biz again.

Mel Gibson’s next movie should be The Counterfeiter. Box office records will again be broken.

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

-------------------------

And what did the great British historian Edward Gibbon, 1737-1794 A.D., have to say about the human record so far? He said, “History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind.”

The same can be said about this morning’s edition of the New York Times.

The French-Algerian writer Albert Camus, who won a Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957, wrote, “There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide.”

So there’s another barrel of laughs from literature. Camus died in an automobile accident. His dates? 1913-1960 A.D.

Listen. All great literature is about what a bummer it is to be a human being: Moby Dick, Huckleberry Finn, The Red Badge of Courage, the Iliad and the Odyssey, Crime and Punishment, the Bible and The Charge of the Light Brigade.

But I have to say this in defense of humankind: No matter in what era in history, including the Garden of Eden, everybody just got there. And, except for the Garden of Eden, there were already all these crazy games going on, which could make you act crazy, even if you weren’t crazy to begin with. Some of the games that were already going on when you got here were love and hate, liberalism and conservatism, automobiles and credit cards, golf and girls’ basketball.

Even crazier than golf, though, is modern American politics, where, thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.

Actually, this same sort of thing happened to the people of England generations ago, and Sir William Gilbert, of the radical team of Gilbert and Sullivan, wrote these words for a song about it back then:

I often think it’s comical
How nature always does contrive
That every boy and every gal
That’s born into the world alive
Is either a little Liberal
Or else a little Conservative.
Which one are you in this country? It’s practically a law of life that you have to be one or the other? If you aren’t one or the other, you might as well be a doughnut.

If some of you still haven’t decided, I’ll make it easy for you.

If you want to take my guns away from me, and you’re all for murdering fetuses, and love it when homosexuals marry each other, and want to give them kitchen appliances at their showers, and you’re for the poor, you’re a liberal.

If you are against those perversions and for the rich, you’re a conservative.

What could be simpler?

-------------------------

My government’s got a war on drugs. But get this: The two most widely abused and addictive and destructive of all substances are both perfectly legal.

One, of course, is ethyl alcohol. And President George W. Bush, no less, and by his own admission, was smashed or tiddley-poo or four sheets to the wind a good deal of the time from when he was 16 until he was 41. When he was 41, he says, Jesus appeared to him and made him knock off the sauce, stop gargling nose paint.

Other drunks have seen pink elephants.

And do you know why I think he is so pissed off at Arabs? They invented algebra. Arabs also invented the numbers we use, including a symbol for nothing, which nobody else had ever had before. You think Arabs are dumb? Try doing long division with Roman numerals.

We’re spreading democracy, are we? Same way European explorers brought Christianity to the Indians, what we now call “Native Americans.”

How ungrateful they were! How ungrateful are the people of Baghdad today.

So let’s give another big tax cut to the super-rich. That’ll teach bin Laden a lesson he won’t soon forget. Hail to the Chief.

That chief and his cohorts have as little to do with Democracy as the Europeans had to do with Christianity. We the people have absolutely no say in whatever they choose to do next. In case you haven’t noticed, they’ve already cleaned out the treasury, passing it out to pals in the war and national security rackets, leaving your generation and the next one with a perfectly enormous debt that you’ll be asked to repay.

Nobody let out a peep when they did that to you, because they have disconnected every burglar alarm in the Constitution: The House, the Senate, the Supreme Court, the FBI, the free press (which, having been embedded, has forsaken the First Amendment) and We the People.

About my own history of foreign substance abuse. I’ve been a coward about heroin and cocaine and LSD and so on, afraid they might put me over the edge. I did smoke a joint of marijuana one time with Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead, just to be sociable. It didn’t seem to do anything to me, one way or the other, so I never did it again. And by the grace of God, or whatever, I am not an alcoholic, largely a matter of genes. I take a couple of drinks now and then, and will do it again tonight. But two is my limit. No problem.

I am of course notoriously hooked on cigarettes. I keep hoping the things will kill me. A fire at one end and a fool at the other.

But I’ll tell you one thing: I once had a high that not even crack cocaine could match. That was when I got my first driver’s license! Look out, world, here comes Kurt Vonnegut.

And my car back then, a Studebaker, as I recall, was powered, as are almost all means of transportation and other machinery today, and electric power plants and furnaces, by the most abused and addictive and destructive drugs of all: fossil fuels.

When you got here, even when I got here, the industrialized world was already hopelessly hooked on fossil fuels, and very soon now there won’t be any more of those. Cold turkey.

Can I tell you the truth? I mean this isn’t like TV news, is it?

Here’s what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey.

And like so many addicts about to face cold turkey, our leaders are now committing violent crimes to get what little is left of what we’re hooked on.

Hoax Hysteria

People are really on the hoax perpetuation bandwagon this morning. I keep getting emails forwarded to me about things such as KFC's chicken being genetically modified and Swiffer Wetjet's causing death in household pets. Good grief people! Have you no ability to seperate truth from fiction, or at least to use the resources available on the internet to verify whether or not something is just an outright hoax? It takes a total of five seconds to go to snopes.com, punch in a key word, and find out immediately if an email you have received has any validity. You will find more often than not that these "scare tactic" emails you receive on a daily basis are complete bullshit. Why would you want to actively participate in the dissemination of lies (undoubtedly crafted by some poor loser with nothing better to do) by sending this crap to every person in your address book? Why not spare everyone the aggravation by just doing as I have suggested here. Do a tiny bit of research rather than succumbing to your knee-jerk reaction to hit forward in your taskbar, sending it on to the next victim. (By YOU I mean Them, you know...anyway...)

I am starting to think that some people are just so naive and don't realize that everything you read on the internet is not necessarily true. In fact, the internet is a sesspool of hoaxes and misinformation and one must wade carefully through, tossing aside the garbage in their path.

The reality is that the world IS full of horrors and sinister plots, but it's not necessary to get hysterical the moment you hear or read something that inspires an irrational fear in you. It reminds me of that book "The Culture of Fear." It's almost like if people in America don't have something to be afraid of, they don't know what to do with themselves. It's becoming an ingrained aspect of our culture. People don't know how to keep their fear in check. I find myself some nights, awake, spiraling through a catalogue of personal fears. Thinking of all the horrible things that could become a reality. Someone will break into my house and kill me (Pttth). My boyfriend will get in a fatal car accident on the way home (Ptthh - get that off the tongue quick). Something terrible will happen to one of my siblings (Pttthh). Terrorists are going to blow up my train or my office building or my neighborhood (Ptthh). These are all self centered fears that are really worthless and unproductive in any run, long or short. (But even still, I fear that if I do not superstitiously spit each of those imaginary scenarios off the tongue, the laws of irony will cause them to occur).

I am just like everyone else. I absorb crap news without realizing it, just because it's on in the other room while I cook dinner, I absorb headlines - flashes of fear inducing dreck - sometimes totally subconsciously. I read true crime and biographies of mass murderers and serial killers, I watch horror films. My mind is clogged to death with images and scenarios that instill fear, when the truth is that almost everyone faces tragedy & heartbreak at some point in their lives. Cultivating any amount of worry about the litany of theoretical scenarios that each person can come up with to fit their own set of personal fears is totally pointless. I witnessed the worst horror of my lifetime when my beloved grandmother drowned before my eyes at the age of four. I have had numerous friends die. I lived in NYC through 9/11. The world is a sad place. And we must accept it. Fear should only be (quickly) turned into motivation to try and prevent tragedies from repeating themselves (for example, I will make sure that my children know how to swim), never as a tool to incite irrational hysteria.

I'd like to avoid ever becoming completely paranoid, but I do suffer a subtle experience of fearfulness that is the common condition of the average American, whether conscious or not. (9/11 didn't help). So let's all do eachother a favor, and try to keep the scare tactics to a minimum. I already feel like that "Worried Lady" on Craig Kilborn. ("I'm just worried...just really really worried.")

So I don't want to get a single nother email that says that Evian is filtered with cow's blood or that drinking from an unwashed soda can could result in death by poisonous rat urine, that I should watch out for men in parking lots trying to offer me drug laced perfume samples so as to knock me out and abduct me -- or my favorite by far because it actually scared me for a moment a couple years back -- be careful at gas stations of mad rapists who will crawl into your backseat while you are inside paying. The real world is bad enough without all this "fear filler." (For those times when you are actually relaxing for a moment, feel free to open your inbox to be confronted with some ridiculous hoax that will send you into a panicked forwarding frenzy).

It's The Small Things

Rob called to let me know that he was having a burger at Le Parker Meridian today when he saw Fantasia Barrino giving autographs and doing some kind of TV appearance. He asked her for her autograph and had her make it out to me. He told her his girlfriend is a fan. Then she gave him a kiss on the cheek and said "bless you." He said she's very pretty in person. *Tinge of jealousy* But now I have her autograph and the whole thing makes me feel like I'm twelve years old. What a nice boyfriend he is to get it for me. *Swoon*

Eavesdropping

Some crazy ass shit.

(CBS) When a forest fire shut down a major transmission line into California, cutting power supplies and raising prices, Enron energy traders celebrated, CBS News Correspondent Vince Gonzales reports.

"Burn, baby, burn. That's a beautiful thing," a trader sang about the massive fire.

Four years after California's disastrous experiment with energy deregulation, Enron energy traders can be heard – on audiotapes obtained by CBS News – gloating and praising each other as they helped bring on, and cash-in on, the Western power crisis.
…

Before the 2000 election, Enron employees pondered the possibilities of a Bush win.

"It'd be great. I'd love to see Ken Lay Secretary of Energy," says one Enron worker.

That didn't happen, but they were sure President Bush would fight any limits on sky-high energy prices.

"When this election comes Bush will f------g whack this s--t, man. He won't play this price-cap b------t."

Crude, but true.

"We will not take any action that makes California's problems worse and that's why I oppose price caps," said Mr. Bush on May 29, 2001.

Both the Justice Department and Enron tried to prevent the release of these tapes. Enron's lawyers argued they merely prove "that people at Enron sometimes talked like Barnacle Bill the Sailor."

You don't say! Who would have thought those Enron crapmasters had no shame at all? Looks like Cul found another article on this. He makes the valid inquiry: "Why is Ken Lay Still Walking Around?" (While his cracker ass should be up shit creek without a paddle, he's free as a rich white executive can be). What's new in corporate America? Absolutely nuthin.

Booking

I am three chapters into this book called "Under the Banner of Heaven" by Jon Krakauer. Anybody read it? Holyfuckinmoly. I did not know all this shit about fundamentalist mormons (I have a bunch of mormon relatives on my mom's side! -- though not fundamentalists/polygamists). Most modern day mainstream mormons shun polygamy and deign to be associated with it or those who practice it.

Aside from the FLDS's sinister history of statutory rape, child and spousal abuse and heavy duty cult mentality, I was shocked to find out how much money these people siphon from the system in the form of food stamps and welfare! One man with five "wives" and over fifty children can really bank on all those "single mothers." Many of the people documented in this book far exceeded that number. The most well known being Thomas Green (convicted rapist and bigot), who fenagled over a million dollars in welfare over a period of roughly 35 years. According to the book, each person in Colorado City who paid a dollar in taxes received about $8 in welfare. Okay...well let me not get started on how our tax dollars are spent because that could get ugly. Let's just say all of these statistics were startling to me and I suddenly felt as if I'd been in the dark about a deeply troubling segment of Americans who seem to fly completely under the radar. I had heard inklings of this stuff, but never recognized the extent of it.

This is serious shit on many levels, one of the more disturbing of which is the comparison that can easily be made between these fundamentalist mormon societies (Colorado City...) and other extremely oppressive religious practices and societies such as fundamentalist Islam and the Taliban, wherein women have no individual rights and members are forced to follow an extremely rigid code of conduct which is meant to isolate them from the rest of the world.

The book is really about the murder in Utah of a woman named Brenda Lafferty and her baby Erica by Brenda's fundamentalist mormon brother-in-law and his friend (because, of course, God told them to - as he often seems to do. Apparently, God makes quite the business of ordering others to kill innocents). Thus, the reason for all the background on this particular sect of the religion. (The one that believes Polygamy is the god given right of every mormon man and that to take that away is to infringe on his constitutional right to practice his religion, regardless of the fact that in America there is no law permitting men to molest or rape, impregnate and/or marry young girls and that it is not their constitutional right to defraud taxpayers). That's not really the main gist of the book though. It's supposed to focus more around the danger of religious extremism.

I'm sure I'll be updating on this book in the future. So far it's got me sucked in. The other book I have been reading, which is, unfortunately, about as riveting as watching paint dry (in spite of the relevant subject matter), is being shelved for now.

What Justice?

There is no justice in this world.

I'll sum up. A wealthy man has an extramarital affair. The woman with whom he is having this affair becomes pregnant. The cheating man and his wife try to persuade the pregnant woman to have an abortion. She refuses. She gives birth to twin girls and goes about raising them. The wealthy married man and his wife decide out of spite to try to take custody of the children. A Manhattan idiot judge grants the scumbag father full custody based on the fact that he is 1) wealthy; and 2) going to have a hard time seeing his children if they stay with their biological mother. The twin girls are then torn from their mother and sent to live with their evil father and his bitchface wife in a home where their biological mother is neither welcome nor respected.

Take it from someone who used to work in a family law practice, there is nothing fair about these proceedings much of the time, but when something like this particular scenario happens, it is nothing short of a total outrage. I really feel for this woman. Why should the man be rewarded for his extramarital affair and his malicious endeavor to take these innocent children from their doting mother? I sincerely hope this woman succeeds in getting her girls back. And I hope that judge gets attacked by angry bees.

Grumble

Must the long weekend end so soon? I stayed at Rob's house all weekend and had to schlep to Manhattan from the Bronx this morning. I am in a rotten mood. 25 Days and counting. My vacation is hovering off in the near distance like a precious mirage. So close I can almost taste the freedom. I won't be satisfied until I reach it. Until Friday, June 25, when the clock strikes 5:30 p.m., and my vacation officially begins. For now it's just another day in the law firm. Blech.