By Beauty Damned

Outed By The Village Voice

We went to this show at the Bowery Ballroom a few weeks ago while Kathleen's mom and sis and brother were all visiting. It was an indie band called Xiu Xiu which was not altogether terrible, yet not that great either, considering what we were required to endure in order to see them. What was terrible was the pretentious hipster audience who was there to pay homage and to put their pretentious little fingers to their lips to shush anyone who thought about making a peep (see article below). FYI: I am the "nutso" who yelled out "Fascists! All of you!"

It all started when the band launched into their first song which consisted of long drawn out sounds on some harp-thingy and the dude whispering "shut up..." while the entire crowd collectively shushed eachother like the biggest dorks ever. (This is a music venue with two bars, where loud bands play, and for some reason we are expected to quiet down like school children on a trip to the library? What?) In contrast, Kathleen and I were giggling irrepressably as a result of heavy alcohol intake and a sudden onset of hipsterphobia, (a syndrome I often suffer when stepping out in New York), when some lady - who decided to assist the crowd further in their obsessive need to shush every last person in the audience - actually came over and said to us in as authoritative a manner as possible: "Could you guys, LIKE, shut the fuck up?" Of course, I laughed and said, "No. But you can." This is the first time I have ever been at a live music venue and actually been told to be quiet, much less to "shut the fuck up." I was not about to start taking the whole thing seriously. After I responded with as little concern as possible, the girl went back to her friends and my friends and I resumed having a good time.

The first song ended and we all clapped and hollered...UNTIL...the shushing started again! How freaking annoying is that??? Everyone was doing it. Shushing. I could have died. I was embarassed to even be there and to be subjected to this level of asininity. So yes, I am the nutso who yelled out "Fascists! All of you!" And guess what? I don't take it back. Not for a second. That was the most retarded thing I've ever seen happen at a live show and I hope never to witness anything like it again. If I want to go to the opera, I will buy tickets and go there and I will be very, very quiet. If I want to go to the library, I am a member and I won't hesitate to drop in for a visit at my liesure. But when I am going out on a Friday night and paying $15 to see some band that I've never even heard of, alcoholic beverages are going to be available for purchase, and there is going to be live music, I'm not looking to be shushed by a whole room full of tragically hip little fascists.

Furthermore, as the only person actually quoted in that entire review aside from the band itself, I have to admit that I'm a tiny bit proud to wear the "nutso" and "riff raff" labels. Better to be nutso riff raff than poser assho'.

I think you'd be hard pressed to come up with a better headline than: "San Francisco Fuckjobs Shoot Arrows Up Indie Kids' Butts."