By Beauty Damned

Some Jerry Springer Shit

So much has happened recently in my life and in the rest of the world that I haven't even known where to begin.

I guess some of the most important news in my own life is that my cat Matilda (a/k/a "Tilly") has returned from a long hiatus. Actually, I should not say she returned on her own. I should say that I retrieved her from my neighbor who told me that if she ever found my cat she would call me immediately. Apparently, she was so anxious to keep Matilda once she got ahold of her that she'd already renamed my cat CeeCee by the time I came to reclaim her. This girl also told me an outrageous lie. She claimed that my boyfriend told her that if she found our cat, she could keep her. She told me this as if he had said it to her in a somewhat conspiratorial manner, a manner which I've never in nearly four years, seen him use. (Anyone who knows Rob knows that not only is he deeply bonded with Matilda, but that he would never in a thousand years tell anyone that they could keep our cat if they found her. He, of course, confirmed that her story was an absolute fabrication). I've concluded that the girl is completely untrustworthy and quite possibly demented. Thank god that her grandmother told me that they had my cat, or else I may never have gotten her back. Anyway, it's a sordid and disturbing tale. Have I already revealed how deeply the entire scenario bugged me? I guess I've let that cat out of the bag, no pun intended.

That is all pretty much irrelevant though, since we have our precious kitty back and I've never been happier. Matilda fell right back into step at home and seems supremely content back in her old routine. I missed her so much and never gave up hope that we would get her back. Robert has been bent out of shape about the whole thing too, which was why it was so ludicrous that this neighbor would claim that he said she could keep Matilda if she got hold of her. Tilly is sooo skinny from months out in the street eating *whatever.* I cried intense tears of joy when I got her home. I really think that Matilda just got lost once she got out that night in April and then didn't know how to get back home. Or maybe she did. Cats are so hard to figure out. I'm greatful to my neighbors for taking her in, but not so plussed about the fact that the girl who swore she would call me if they found my cat decided not to once she realized how sweet and lovable and housebroken Matilda is.

I would normally refrain from blogging about this at all, considering that my neighbors are aware of my blog and there is always the possibility of her reading this, but at this point, I don't care that much. Why do I trust people? Robert says that's what's wrong with getting to know neighbors. Next thing you know they're meddling in your business and stirring up acrimony. Ai carumba. I've been dwelling. I should stop.

Buy YAY! I have my cat back. It is the best. Seeing Tilly sprawled out on the floor or waking up and feeling her there at my feet or even hearing her scratching in the litterbox, is such an immense comfort to me. It sucks how attached a person can get to an animal. One of my SAT words was anthropocentrism. That means you place human values on animals. I feel like I do that with Matilda. Like I expect her to feel the way I feel. I expect her to realize how tough it was being outside and having nothing to eat and to feel greatful for the home and the love that I give her. But you can't expect that from an animal. They don't have a conscience. Or do they? Do they consciously feel sadness, longing, love-lost? I doubt it. They just live according to their instinct. I imagine that in Matilda's mind, no time has elapsed at all. Now that she's here, it's as if she was never anywhere else. She was definitely happy -- if cats can be happy -- to see me and to feel my fingers scratching her back and neck and tummy again. I imagine she recognizes my voice and maybe even has a certain awareness that she is home. But she couldn't possibly feel the relief I feel or the sentimentality.

Whatever the case with cat psyche and whether or not the love I feel for her is mutual, I am elated to have her back with Robert and I.

As for the catnapper...hopefully, this will not turn into a "to be continued..."