By Beauty Damned

Got Vodka?

We went to Village Karaoke last night and rented out a room in which to belt out our favorite songs at the top of our lungs. Usually we go to this place called Tinga Tinga where you can bring all your own food and alcohol, so before going to Village Karaoke I stopped and bought a huge bottle of vodka. It was Iceburg, my favorite (better than Absolut in my opinion), it was on sale for $19.99, and it was in a big plastic bottle. I couldn't resist. I knew we would have at least six people and that the alcohol would get consumed. However, I was wrong. And I wasn't the only one. We got to the karaoke spot and it turned out they have a bar and they don't allow you to bring your own alcohol. Kathleen had a bottle of wine, others had brought beer and flasks, and there I was with my humongous bottle of vodka. We managed to get our alcohol in undetected and I ordered a couple of drinks from the bar and increased the alcohol content where I felt it was necessary.

Did I mention that I didn't eat any dinner? All I'd had to eat all day was a cobb salad and a buttered roll at lunchtime. The alcohol went straight to my head. We had a great time singing, but a couple of hours later it was over and we headed out to the street. We started walking. I didn't know where we were going and I didn't care in the least. I was in a haze. We soon reached the next drinking establishment. I ordered a 7up and spiked my drink at the table. We were there for about a half hour before I realized where we were. I came to my senses for long enough to notice the shelves of books on the wall. I said to Robert, "are we at the Library?" He laughed and said "very good babe. You're very alert." The Library is a bar I've been to several times. Looking back on last night, I find it disturbing that I didn't realize that's where we were until we'd been there for quite awhile. How drunk could I have been?

Apparently, very, very drunk. I have a big white leather purse with several outer pockets and compartments. It is a huge purse. I didn't know this until Robert told me, but he claims that I lifted my big white purse over the table several times to demonstrate how my purse was like an airplane. Look! Zoom! It's fucking gigantic! Did you guys see? Do you see how gigantic it is? It is like a goddamn spaceship! Watch it soar through the sky! ...my airplane purse carrying a large cargo of Iceburg vodka.

It was at the point when Robert told me this story today that I asked if I'd embarassed him terribly. He said "I'm not gonna lie. Yes, I was a little bit embarassed, but they're your friends so who am I to be embarassed?" I felt bad. I felt bad for being so drunk, for embarassing myself and my boyfriend with my out of control antics. Fortunately, the girl at the booth next to us made me look like a pillar of sobriety, as she was passed out face down at her table. You know she was in bad shape when I was asking her friends if she was going to be okay. I was still in my right mind enough to know when someone else was even more tanked than myself. I still can't believe I was toting around that giant bottle of vodka all night and that I did not eat anything. The bottle was sitting on my counter when I came into the kitchen this morning and I was relieved to see that I hadn't actually drank that much of it. Not that it matters, because I obviously had too much one way or another.

Aiiiii. There's nothing like the guilt and self loathing that follows a night of excessive drinking.

To cure myself I've been cleaning the house and doing laundry. As long as I do something productive the day after drinking I can attempt to shake the feeling that my presence on this earth is a total waste.