Sorry about the lack of updates. And now for an episode of random observations by Maria Carreon.
Fake boobs are not very attractive. They all look the same after awhile. I understand what motivates many women to want bigger breasts, but I do not understand why anyone would want to put big plastic sacks of some strange liquid inside their chests, under the skin, to create the appearance that they actually have bigger breasts? Ever heard of a pushup bra? Geez. It just seems like a really extreme procedure. Actually, most plastic surgery seems like a severe form of self mutilation to me. It freaks me out.
When that show "the Swan" had its first season, I watched it out of pure morbid curiosity. It's easy to get sucked into any kind of makeover show because it's only natural to feel curious about what the transformation will look like. I watch that show "Pimp My Ride" and "Trading Spaces" for the same reason. I love seeing shitty cars get turned into dream mobiles and crappy living areas turned into inviting "family rooms." It's cheesy and the entertainment value is really pretty minimal when you think about it. There's no lasting or meaningful impression really. But that's how TV is. Ultimately I have to say that I found the Swan appalling on every level. I feel for those women and all the self esteem issues that they struggle with, but I honestly think there are healthier ways to feel better about yourself.
I was hoping that someone would come out with a show where women changed their diets and exercised and sought therapy, but didn't have plastic surgery. A visit to the dentist, the spa, the hairdresser and the nice clothing boutique is all a very good idea. But does there have to be a gory physical mutilation scene...or ten? I suppose that show "The Biggest Loser" is a step in that direction, while it still plays off of bullshit overcompetativeness that tv seems to be so full of these days with all the reality shows.
Meanwhile, the mental therapy those girls supposedly receive on the Swan didn't seem very substantial or even what the show itself represented it to be. The therapist isn't even a doctor. And they should have been offered therapy before deciding to go through with this "extreme makeover," not while they're going through it! It all seems pretty hokey to me. Like, "hey look! We care about these women. We're giving them therapy because we want them to feel better about themselves! We are not doing this to exploit them! What rea$on would we po$$ibly have for exploiting them? We just want to give them the opportunity to be better looking and of course, happier!" (because the better looking you are, the happier you will be, and the more others will like you). Better looking maybe...2 bit hooker look in the bag, maybe that too. But happier? Really? Are you sure?
I'm not convinced that any of those women are truly happier as a result of extreme plastic surgery. By the time they're done with that, they no longer need therapy to solve their self esteem problems, they now need therapy to come to terms with knowing that they've been fake-afied and aggressively processed through the sytem of a shitty reality, that is that we live in a society where physical attractiveness is bestowed with far more importance than brains or goodness. One would almost think that wealth and youthful beauty were the only thing worth striving for. Of course, that's as old a tradition as any. To put stock in those things. But Americans appear to be particularly attached to the idea that women are worthless if they're not attractive. America seems like it must be the most plastic place on earth.
I wonder if there's a way to find out how many women with fake boobs have been buried in this country since breast implants became popular and to predict how many actual square feet of fake boobs that would make up if you put them altogether on one piece of land. How many fake boobs will be buried in American soil by the year 2100? Do you think at some point all that silicone and plastic will cause a scary environmental effect like that movie the Day After Tomorrow? We are polluting the earth with plastic tits little by little. Because eventually, those things have to be thrown away one way or another.
Posted by Maria at December 4, 2004 08:58 PM.
Maria, I was always able to view this plastic surgery thing with the amused detachment guys are happy to indulge in when confronted by inexplicably female behavior.
Recently, I've noticed that GUYS are doing this. HELLO! VANITY, thy name is WOMAN! Jeez, we've been blissfully exempt from things cosmetic in this society up to now, and thank GAWD. Really, I don't know how women do it all. I appreciate it, it's cute, it's your thing, it's cool. If you have issues over it it, work it out. I can live with or without all that stuff. And I was glad most women could live without male cosmetology.
But the surgery thing is really nuts. Every time you go under the knife, you risk death by infection or shock or adverse reaction to anaesthesia. Death, y'all. For big hard odd-shaped TITS? The thing is, yeah, they may look great under clothing, and from a distance. But, close up, they just look WEIRD. I'm a mammal, I know.
Let me tell you a little secret. Once somebody gets your clothes off, you've already made the sale. If they even WANT to see you naked, you've made it. Once you are naked, both of you, no normal person is going to focus on anything even moderately negative about your body. (Unless it's ooooozing pus.)
Anybody who does become critical at that point is a sicko: Lose them. Aren't they there because they LIKE you? Aren't they attracted to you for GENERAL physical AND other reasons, not just your padded basket or your stuffed bra? If not, you're in for a VERY tacky time. Better to be honest, in the first place.
I don't mind a little padding on a girl. If it's TOO much, then it can be a little weird. Like, she just looks like a different person, naked. Like, who the hell is she? Like, what is she, a phony? And if it's surgical, then, maybe she's nuts? And, who wants to play with big hard perfectly hemispheric gel-filled boobies, anyway? I mean for more than a year or two? Plus, there's scars. And you can't help trying to figure out what her OLD boobs looked like, and where they went. It's distracting.
I want to get at the really sexy stuff, in her head. I'm not trying to be gallant here. I'm a total pervert. And all the good stuff is in your head. I mean, there's only so many variations on the human form, male or female. It's all in what you do with it. Work on that, and maybe get a personality transplant, boys and girls, before you start slicing yourselves up.
Face it: We can't all look like Maria. Science has not advanced that far.
: )
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UNRELATED ASIDE:
PS Anybody having any trouble getting into Cul's site lately? Is it broke, or what?
This is a great topic. Funny because I just had a conversation with a 6 year survivor or breast cancer. She is 78 and had lumps the size of peas in each. She chose not to have the reconstrution. I am in agreeement. cancer can go undetected in women with implants. To me it is not worth it.
As for the Swan, I see 2 sides of it. These people may be desperate and feel that this is their only hope. But if you have the courage to go into the operating room and are strong enough to bear the physical pain of the healing, than why can you not take a little time to sit down and talk to someone. I have heard that most people have a hard time with the results. They are not prepared for the change and many times they don't see the improvment.
Maybe I just got lucky, but my husband would throw a major fit if I said I wanted any work done.
To each his own I guess.
Maria,
You'll be glad to know that silicon is the most common element on the planet already, so it won't do the environment any harm. It'll probably give a good laugh to some future archeologists though.
Nice new look to the site.
Posted by: Graham Lester at December 5, 2004 03:17 PMI can spot a pair of fakes from a mile away and they're just ew. not attractive at ALL.
Posted by: girl at December 5, 2004 05:42 PMI just wonder if there is feeling in them.
Posted by: pam at December 5, 2004 08:11 PMI love the new picture Maria! Aside: I listened to Op Ivy today really really loud and felt much better about the day ahead of me. Great advice!
Posted by: Ashley at December 6, 2004 01:04 PMThanks Cosa ;o)
I agree that it's ridiculous. No one is "perfect." But the funny thing is that when you're really attracted to someone, you totally overlook any physical flaws they might have, and may even come to find those little quirks what makes a person even more attractive. Each person has different preferences and if you can't find someone to love you for who you are, it probably doesn't have a lot to do with what you look like on the outside. But the truth is that we live in a very surface world where people are concerned with surface things. A person who seeks total perfection in their own physical appearance is probably seeking the same ridiculous and unattainable characteristics in others...that is not to say that every woman who has a boob job has impossible standards, I think most women who get breast implants are just looking for approval on a physical level rather than a mental, spiritual or emotional level. And what do you expect in a society that depicts women as sex objects nearly everywhere you look? But some people are obsessed with plastic surgery, both men and women, and I think that is a mental illness on some level.
Graham, thank you. I can only imagine what archeologists and historians will think of all this thousands of years from now.
Pam, I have heard different things. Some women say they still have feeling, some don't. I think it really depends. But I know I wouldn't trade physical sensation for big fake boobs. There's no equality in that trade!
Ash! I'm glad you took my suggestion. I don't kid around. Certain music just makes you want to go conquer the world. That's just one of those albums ;o)
Posted by: Maria at December 6, 2004 05:01 PMOH MY! How I do love this post!!!! Fake tits be damned, low self esteem, be damned full frontal. Fuck the fake shit, if it takes a fake breastsicles to attract a 'soulmate' FUCK that and fuck men backwards with a corkscrew. Breasts were meant to feed the spawn, not feed the bastard date or husband sucking the nipples, fuck that. OMG, I'm over opinionated. :D
Tits, breasts, fascinating Globes O' wonder didn't evovle for the suckling pleasures of man. The aesthetics of the breast haven't evovled because of mans lust, those fatty globes evovled to what they are, baby food, Gerber is shitting a brick now, tits ain't foreplay baybee.
Fuck reality T.V., fuck the expectation of the man. My tits dangle, the male dong (winky-doodle/penis) dangles, nothing is perfect, everything that the universe gave us has a reason for existence. Women need to stop fucking shaping their being to what they thing man wants, fuck that shit sideways, show your freaky tits anyway, anyhow, anywhere you choose, but DO NOT think for one minute that your tits are insuffiecient, EVER. I demand, God demands that and fuck the asswipes that think otherwise, they be chumps, yo. :D
Posted by: Cupie at December 6, 2004 11:10 PM.
ACTUALLY...
Tits must have evolved towards male preferences, since they are a sexual characteristic, if only a secondary one. And there are no nursables without sex, first, so...
I mean, think about it: Our fellow mammals teats are barely noticeable except during nursing, and still pretty unspectacular even then. Dunno if other mammals practice breast-play, or show interest in boobies. I would venture that tits are an especially human phenom, in the sexual-attraction sweepstakes, which is second only to individual survivability as an evolutionary force. Actually, maybe it's the other way around: As far as Nature is concerned, you can drop dead as soon as you've reproduced.
Except, you have to feed them kiddies. So female breasts really are a great factor in evolution. And the longer the kid needs to suck on 'em, the longer Mom needs to survive. So, having big milky ones could maintain the attention of the hunter-warrior-daddy for the extended-protection warranty known as marriage. And MORE nurslings! Hey, pretty smart, ladies!
Now, what can us guys do to ensure our survival and propagation, by way of physical evolution?
.
What, no DICK jokes?
Posted by: cosa nostradamus at December 8, 2004 09:24 PMYeah, Yeah, none of you make any sense at all.
Ever consider cutting 15 square inches of the most sensitive skin off a male's penis? Yeah, it's called circumcision and you all seem to think it's OK.
You have no basis to complain about extreme surgery.
You are just a bunch of mindless zombies who accept the societal horseshit whole and swallow without thinking.
Why not try something new? Why not try thinking for yourselves without considering the crap you immerse yourselves in from TV every day?
Posted by: Zebulon Here at February 27, 2005 03:24 AMZebulon, why not try talking to someone who's interested in hearing your uninformed opinion? I was raised completely without television, you know nothing about me or anyone else here, and you have weak reading comprehension skills. You've completely missed the point. But I imagine that probably happens to you often, judging how quickly you attempt to dive into things headfirst without knowing which way is up.
So, thank you for coming and showing us your ass. It's been real.
Posted by: Maria at February 27, 2005 08:39 PM