By Beauty Damned

Factor This

Newsflash! Jon Stewart's Viewers Distinctly More Intelligent and Informed Than O'Reilly's!

I came across this transcript of Bill O'Reilly interviewing Jon Stewart over at Wonkette about a week ago. The interview was so great because Jon Stewart doesn't take anything to heart and is so good at turning everything into a joke at the expense of everyone involved. He can laugh at himself, but he is also incredibly skilled at turning things around to point out hypocricy or to subtly avoid conveying aggravation at the discussion.

Of course, as Wonkette pointed out, one of the most memorable snippets from the interview was the following:

O'REILLY: You actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary.

STEWART: If that were so, that would be quite frightening.

O'REILLY: But it is. It's true. I mean, you've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night, OK, and they can vote.

STEWART: Yeah.

O'REILLY: You can't stop them.

STEWART: Yeah, I just don't know how motivated they would be, these stoned slackers.

O'REILLY: Yeah, it just depends if they have to go out that day.

STEWART: What am I, a Cheech and Chong movie? Stoned slackers?

O'REILLY: Come on, you do the research, you know the research on your program.

STEWART: No, we don't.

O'REILLY: Eighty-seven percent are intoxicated when they watch it. You didn't see that?

STEWART: No, I didn't realize that.

O'REILLY: Yeah, we have that there.

STEWART: We come on right after, I believe, puppets that make crank calls...

O'REILLY: Yeah.

STEWART: ... so we are, I think, the appropriate follow up...

O'REILLY: Yeah, and that's a great lead-in for you.

STEWART: It's a wonderful show, by the way.

O'REILLY: Puppets can't vote, but these dopey kids who watch you can.

STEWART: They actually can -- in Florida, they can.

O'REILLY: Puppets can vote in Florida.

STEWART: As long as they vote Republican.

O'REILLY: And they haven't committed a felony.

STEWART: And they haven't committed a felony, that's exactly right

O'REILLY: But you do have some influence. Now, how do you see that? You have influence. John Kerry bypassed me and went right over to you. You're only four blocks away. He said, "O'Reilly, I don't think so. Stewart, I'm going to go talk to you."

STEWART: Well, I have to tell you -- and again, I mean no disrespect, but the snack selection backstage, quite frankly...

After a little bit, the conversation gravitated back to where it began:

O'REILLY: What do you think Kerry wants to get out of coming on your show?

STEWART: He wants to get what any politician does: access to a new constituency. He wants to get...

O'REILLY: The stoned slackers.

STEWART: ... that's exactly right, because the stoned slackers, this election is going to rely on the undecided. Who is more undecided than...

O'REILLY: Than the stoned slacker, right.

STEWART: ... the people who are high. Right now, they're thinking to themselves, ice cream or pretzels, ice cream or pretzels.

Some people took offense. Understandably so. I just thought it was hilarious, not only because of the finesse with which Jon Stewart navigated his position in the interview and kept admirably cool as Bill O'Reilly did his usual best to belittle and instigate conflict with his guest, but also because the conversation itself was ludicrous, as it usually is whenever BOR is involved (I think that is the perfect abbreviation for his name, don't you?). You honestly cannot take anything he says seriously because he has no purpose in life other than to berate and inflame those who he disagrees with. In reality, I believe the man's wife must have his balls locked in an iron box in her bedside table and the only time he ever gets to exert any control is when he's on his trashy talk show berating his guests. Maybe he is an abused husband. It happens, you know. Whatever the reason for the monstrous chip on his shoulder, I feel sorry for him. I would not want to wake up every morning only to be reminded that I am that shitstick on Fox News whose only satisfaction comes when I maliciously attack my liberal guest and beat them down with the proverbial belt of ignorance.

So you can only imagine how tickled I was when I picked up my newspaper this morning and saw this little headline up at the top: "Daily Show's Viewers Smarter Than O'Reilly's." Turns out, this story is all over the place!

You got knocked the fuck out, biaaaatch!!!

Posted by Maria at September 30, 2004 10:51 AM | TrackBack