I cannot believe that anyone would let their toddler watch up to three or four hours of television per day.
People have got to wake up and stop allowing their children destructive activities such as overeating, overexposure to violence and excessive television. I sincerely believe that the increasing neglectfulness of parents and families is a huge contributing factor to the direction in which American society is heading. Down the shitter. Aside from the masses of new disorders that appear everyday in adult Americans such as chronic fatigue, stress & anxiety, depression and so on, now children have become the major victims. We sit them in front of the TV for hours a day beginning while they are babies, and then when they get into gradeschool we wonder why they have ADD and hyperactivity and why the teachers and principals are insisting that the children be medicated to make them more manageable in class and to curb misbehavior. Then when they are in highschool we wonder why they are violent, suicidal or even homicidal. We let them consume fastfood, unhealthy snacks, soda and rarely a vegetable, day after day, and then we wonder why they are overweight. Then we let them watch some more TV and come Christmas time, we wonder why their wishlist is ten pages long with things they saw in ads.
This all makes me really sad. And I think the solution is pretty simple. But for some reason, people refuse to protect their children more from the negative influences of television & violent video games or to restrict them from frequently eating unhealthy foods.
I know I've blogged about this before, and I'll likely do it again, because it's an issue I feel really strongly about. I was raised primarily without television. (Though I did manage to sneak in some TV watching at friends' houses or when my parents were away). I am a firm believer that this is the reason that everyone talks to eachother in my house. An entire day passes and a television may never even be turned on, and certainly not for anything other than movie watching. (No one in my parent's house vegges in front of the television, it's just not an option). People have told me before that they think my parents were too lenient with me -- allowed me too much freedom at a young age (even though I was practically a prisoner until I was 13 and after that all hell broke loose and I was like a wild horse that couldn't be stopped). But my parents pulled the reigns where it was most necessary and they laid a foundation that consisted of well rounded eating habits (I don't eat anything non-fat or that says diet on the label. I honestly believe that just makes you fatter) and setting an example that reading and writing and artistic activities are far more fulfilling than hours of TV watching.
My best friend Kathleen always said the thing she liked the best about staying over at my house was waking up in the morning and hearing my parents talking to eachother. They both do their own things, but you will never see them side by side in lazy-boyz watching TV. My dad does not watch sports. My mother does not watch soap operas. I think this is part of the reason they are so far from the stereotypical American. And probably one of the reasons that they are still married after thirty years. They talk to eachother.
I'll be the first to admit that now, living on my own, I watch television (and I eat pizza and cheeseburgers with gusto but my ass is still narrower than most people I know). However, many days pass when I won't turn it on at all and I am fully capable of just putting on some music and drawing or painting or sitting in silence and reading a book as an alternative to watching TV. It seems like adults who do not overexpose themselves to television are also in a better position to be able to analyze things and to grasp reality without being overly influenced by the subliminal affects of television. But that is a choice that adults must make for themselves. Your children cannot be left with the decision about how much television and what is okay to watch. Parents have to take control. And more than anything, they need to stop using the television as a babysitter.
Posted by Maria at April 5, 2004 12:17 PM | TrackBackMaria
This thread is going to be made "required reading material" for Ailey tonight. We just got into another argument over television last night. She wants a TV in her room just like "all her friends" and the answer is still a big fat NO. She is so pissed at me right now but I told her.."sorry sister it ain't happening".
YOU GO GIRL! One day she will thank you as I thank my parents. I hated it when I was a kid because I felt left out too, but now I understand the huge difference it made on me and my siblings.
Posted by: Maria at April 5, 2004 01:08 PMI hope she thanks me..her dad built her bookshelves that surround her whole room. She has a drawing table, a desk...no computer is allowed in her room either btw..which has pissed her off too. She has a really nice stereo..she doesn't need a tv because if she had one none of the other things mentioned would be touched.
I visited my nephew over Christmas and everytime I passed his room he was sititng on the floor, mouth open and gazing at the television. That was the saddest thing I ever saw...
You're a good mom Sandy. A lot of parents allow themselves to be steamrolled by their kids. They feel guilty for not giving their children everything they ask for. They don't want to see them kick and cry. I could kick and cry all I wanted, but it wasn't getting me what I asked for if the answer was already no. That's what being a parent is about right? Being the one with the authority to decide how your child is going to be influenced in your home, regardless of tantrums.
I agree about not letting her have a computer in her room. You know what kind of trouble people can get into on the internet. Hahaa! Seriously though. It's not safe for young girls to be on it unrestrained and unspervised. If she's smart, which it sounds like she is, she will definitely thank you later on.
What you said about your nephew depresses the hell out of me. That is the exact thing that caused my dad to get rid of our TV. Seeing his children slackjawed and vacantly staring at that ridiculous screen. That was enough for him. He threw it straight into the dumpster. No joke.
Posted by: Maria at April 5, 2004 01:29 PMOh this is too weird. The front page of our local paper today..this is one of the headlines:
"Attention disorder, TV linked in kids"
Well no shit huh?
Posted by: sandy at April 5, 2004 05:56 PMThe whole thing about A.D.D. and childhood maladies is, I think, blown out of proportion. My sister's eldest boy was labelled "hyperactive" at age 6. Sure he was impossible and had to be watched every minute but some would call that simply "obnoxious". They took him to every specialist in Boston and finally someone prescribed speed (dexidrine in his case). They said it would have a counter-effect on him due to his brain chemistry.
Well. It didn't. Now they tell them he never should have been medicated at all.
We spend waaaay too much time assuming there's something psychologically wrong with kids only to find out (in many cases) it's just shitty parenting. In fact when I watch how my sister treats those boys I ask myself "did she grow up with OUR parents"??
Easy for me to say I suppose since I have no children (thankfully).. but when those kids are in my care I can make them behave in seconds flat. About a year ago the younger one (David) and I were on the beach at Sandy Neck and I saw the little beggar stomp on a hermit crab. He laughed gleefully.
I looked at him puzzled and said "what are you THINKING"?? He said "I dunno". For the next two hours I showed him what made the ecosystem of the beach alive and interesting going from mooring to getty and both of us using our masks in the shallow water to study the things going on bellow.
Later that night I got a call from my sister saying "how did you get my kid to come home like that"?? I asked what she meant. She said he was raving about how interesting his day had been and how much he'd enjoyed his uncle's company.
In fairness I don't have him twenty-four hours a day. But with little to no effort he and I both learned something that day and there wasn't a television or a video game within five miles.
Your parents subscribed to the television thing the same way mine did M. We got an hour a night tops. My brother was extremely fond of "The Three Stooges" but had to watch it at friend's houses. My mother couldn't stomach it and thought the level of violence (let alone the inane humor) inappropriate.
Wise woman she.
Posted by: Richard at April 5, 2004 06:24 PM