I am so tired of coming across articles about strict Islamic states and countries where anything and everything that might be considered even remotely enjoyable is a fucking crime. No dancing. No drinking. No body conscious clothing. Most of the time these rules are directed towards women more than men. It amazes me that such a large number of people on this planet still think of women as lesser (and cursed) beings who bring bad luck and sin to the world. Instead of making the women wear dumpy frocks, maybe they should just castrate all the men who find anything slightly more revealing too tempting to handle. Just cut off their cojones. That should take care of that little problem.
When I was a teenager I had this sucky job taking phone orders for a catalog company. People dressed so badly there. Tiedyed t-shirts, torn jeans, hideous guys wearing shirts with the sleeves torn off to reveal white, pimpled, hairy arms and minimally hygenic females wearing sloppy tanktops that couldn't contain their bra straps and underarm flaps. Yes there was a dress code and no people did not follow it. I made an effort to look presentable to work everyday despite the deadendedness of the job and the lack of general morale, but you can bet I never wore torn jeans, tiedyes or grubby tanktops to work. One day though, I wore a black button down skirt that reached to my knees and a white sleeveless top (no arm flaps, hair or unsightly blemishes). I was beckoned to human resources and informed of my dress code infraction. It had been brought to their attention by one of the bigwig vice presidents (who had been trolling the area) that my top was inappropriate and to please find something to wear over it or I would need to go home without pay. (Please note that I was a flat chested, bony teenager - nothing hanging out, no cleavage...and no, my nipples were not showing). I borrowed an ugly flannel from a friend, which I'm sure was a big relief to the persistent boner in the VP's pants which was no doubt his primary motivation for getting me in trouble. Now, I may have accepted the notion that perhaps the top was inappropriate for work if I had not gone back to my seat where I had to work beside a fat hippie chick with stringy hair and purple bra straps which were literally FALLING out of her tidyed tanktop along with everything else. I shit you not. No one ever said a word to her.
When I told my mother about the whole incident she had just one thing to say: "only men with hard-ons make issues out of things like that." Anyway, that is only a small incident in my life and I'm sure could not possibly compare with the type of oppression that these women in Islamic countries must endure. The worst is that these extremist leaders & organizations inflict their rules on even non-islamic people who shouldn't have to be subjected to it at all. But I think the bottom line is simple.
Men have always blamed women for their own relentless libidos and for inspiring carnal desires. Right wing Christians blame pornography and loose women for the downfall of humanity and they blame their own sexual transgressions on the same, while Islamic extremists blame even a flash of skin or a lock of hair for all the immorality that exists in the world. But what's really disgusting is them. Their own denial. Their own frustration. Their own self loathing. That and their fear of women. Men who oppress women have an inherent fear that women will harness their true power and take control of all which has been dominated by men. They stamp out the female characteristics that exist within everything in order to wield their masculine ego and their weapons and their "strength." They're so afraid that women are intrinsically stronger on the inside that they must reaffirm their control and power with all they have - physicality. If the women don't do what the men want, they will just have to be beaten until they submit. And since this has been going on for as long as I can possibly imagine, it works. Especially in a society where women are already taught to believe that a beating or even a killing is what they righteously deserve if they disobey a man and his laws. Or what about places where they perform female circumcision so that women will not be able to derive any pleasure from sex acts and therefore will not be unfaithful to their husbands, while their husbands are welcome to do the whole fucking village?
The older I get, and the more I understand the things that are important in this world, the more of a feminist I become. In this country, the most I worry about is catching wind of a macho asshole attitude or being sexually harassed in the work place, or battling in my own romantic relationship for equality. But it is these other countries that concern me, where women's rights are non-existent. It's ugly and evil and I pray that one day these pathetic, inadequate men will stop trying to make themselves feel more powerful by abusing those who they feel inferior to and using their religion as a basis for it.
Posted by Maria at January 5, 2004 05:41 PMDear Maria,
I can understand your frustration. As women it is so hard to be truly oneself, and embrace the strenght that is inherent in our sexuality. Men want to crush our sexuality because it threatens them. It makes them weak. It makes their knees soft and their dicks hard. As long as we deny the power that we have over men, it is men that possess our sexual power, by restraining it with "circumcision" (mutilation) and by requiring us to adhere to dress codes.
Our country has come a long way from Islam in a very short amount of time. It has only been a few decades. I wonder, if we have come so far so quick, could we go back as quickly?
I worry that we may one day ally ourselves with Islam, and women will believe that their sexuality is actually a danger to them, just like Islamic women believe that men will rape them or disrespect their other qualities (brains) if women express themselves honestly.
Hi..back from Vacation, hope your holiday was great. This posts reminds me of when I was in Saudi Arabia...hmm..let's see we would go into town about once a week and some, not all but some stores would only allow women to come in during certain times of the day. The one that comes to mind was this really cool music shop, cheap re-recorded tapes, knock offs..whatever..the guys I was stationed with, well that was their favorite music store and they knew most of the time I would have to stand outside the window looking in, I would give them a piece of paper with what I wanted wrote on it. Afterwards we'd always go out to eat, and because they had me with them, we had to eat upstairs, hidden, like watching a woman eat is more disgusting than a guy..but a couple of times I would hear my guys say stuff like, "this is kinda cool"..."yeah man, hide her face, keep her mouth shut..." I'm sure they were joking, but once in a while I would get pissed off and say stuff. The disturbing thing was, that it wasn't that really disturbing to them. Now granted those 7 schlubs do not speak for all American men, but....7 out of 7 weren't that upset about the situation over there....I love men, man I love men, but you know sometimes they can be real fucking assholes...
Posted by: sandy at January 9, 2004 01:30 PMWow, I get to hear from my little sister and Sandy on my blog in two days? That is so awesome. I miss you both.
Ana I can't wait to read some of your essays that you've done in school, you should email a couple to me sometime. You're fired up. It's good. You're right about America coming such a long way in such a short time. Our own grandmothers and mothers grew up in a time when women were far more oppressed in the states than they are now (for the most part). It's scary to think what could happen if we started going backward. But I think women like their freedom too much in this country to see that happen. Of course, there are women in this country who feel every bit as inferior to men & just the same in terms of the need to repress their sexuality, as so many in Saudi Arabia, Iran, Malaysia and many other places. But the politically correct projection in our society is that women and men are supposed to be treated equal. So that's a good thing.
Hey, do you remember eating dinner at Pete Seda's house and having to eat in a different room than dad and Pete? And how he had two women living in his house, cooking and cleaning for him, but he introduced one as his wife, and one as his "wife's friend." I used to see those two women together around town. Anyway, I remember how mad our mom was that we had to eat in a separate room from her husband, but of course, she swallowed most of her comments and it was a pretty quiet evening. That was kind of a trip. We got to experience what it feels like for a couple of hours, to be banished from the presence of the men while they have their meal, for it to be considered unholy to eat beside our own father. Then we went home and back to our life without that barrier between us and the men who surrounded us. Back to our normal American lives. That had a slight impact on me. I guess because it is not something I ever had to experience before or since.
Sandy, it still amazes me that you could sit and listen to those guys be jackasses and not have PMS one day and pull out your gun and just toast one of em! hahaa. I really do respect you for being able to put yourself in that place in those circumstances with almost all men. You are the best role model that a feminist could have. Because you prove that you can do what they can do and you can even do it better! You're my hero.
Posted by: Maria at January 9, 2004 08:50 PMOh stop it............you know what they say about flattery...it'll get you everywhere!!!! :)
Posted by: sandy at January 11, 2004 07:39 PM