September 26, 2003

Redneck Waterfall

That's what a friend of mine named the mullets that are soft and curly and cascade down over a redneck's shoulders. The redneck waterfall.

After mentioning mullets in a previous entry, I decided that it had been far too long since I'd visited mulletsgalore.com. So I went ahead and indulged. It's annoying when things become too kitschy, but I can't resist the glee that I derive from looking at pictures and commentary of the most white trash, living out the stereotype, sleezy, scary, fashion victim folks around.

I remember when I moved to New York three years ago, if I mentioned the word "mullet" I would get this weird look and people would go "huh? what's that?" Now there's a freaking show called "The Mullets" which I haven't watched and I probably never will because the very concept irritates me. I won't go into why, because It'll just turn into a huge tangent. I remember at least eight years ago, living in Oregon and witnessing far too many mullets for anyone to comprehend unless they themselves have been to Oregon, and I remember saying "there ought to be a law against that, little signs that they post in hair salons and barber shops with a mullet sillouhette and a big red X over it to let people know that it is a crime against humanity to sport a SOTLOB." (short on top, long on bottom).

My friends Darcie and Jenni and I developed an obsession with mullets about five years ago, where we felt compelled to snap a photo of one at every given opportunity. One night at a club in Ashland we were shooting a game of pool when we acquainted ourselves with three women who all worked in a mill together and all had matching perfectly feathered mullets. I was about two heads taller than them, but I slung my arms over their shoulders and we took a picture. It turned out so funny. Brings to mind the phrase "one of these things is not like the others..." Another time, in Bend, Oregon, we were leaving a club in a taxi cab when we noticed that our driver had a redneck waterfall. A really long, soft, luxurious one. We asked him if we could take a picture of it. We took a few pictures and he seemed to enjoy the attention. We mooned him as he drove off. Give me a break, we were very drunk. The memories will last a lifetime and the pictures are still deeply cherished.

My all time favorite mullet belongs to a character in the movie "Ghost World." If you visit the movie website you can see some shots of him in the flash intro. He does some crazy and hilarious antics in that movie. That's a total "Crank Mullet" or "Methamphetamine Mullet" or if you are native to Southern Oregon, a "White City Mullet" (White City is where most of the meth labs are at and the entire population probably has 25 teeth, collectively). Ghost World mulletman has the stache to match the mullet (which has lines shaved in the sides) and he's wearing cop sunglasses, no shirt (crazy farmers tan), tight jean shorts, and of course, hightop sneakers, which as we've established, go together with mullets like frik and frak.

Posted by Maria at September 26, 2003 03:57 PM | TrackBack
Comments

OH MY GAWD,I love that site, just visited it the other day...too fucking funny. Well, I mean is it funny or just pathetic?haha..
You know the age old question which came first the chicken or the egg? You could get an arena full of mullets and pose the question.
"Who's the better front man, Diamond Dave or Sammy Hagaar?" That would be some intelligent conversation going on...hehe...a war might be started...

Posted by: sandy at September 26, 2003 04:19 PM

Well..we had friends over last night and I feel like a bone that's been picked clean by a pit bull....If I hear another Redneck, white trash, southern joke it'll be too soon. My husband is from Chicago, our friends are all "yankees" I guess and last night was pick on the Georgia girl. Thanks to your thread I started a conversation about mullets and Jason drug out my old photo when I had one. It was cruel!!!! This is why I drink Maria, this is why, I'm trying to dilute my past..haha...we had a blast, but I will never again mention mullets w/my so called friends..have a great weekend..:)

Posted by: sandy at September 27, 2003 11:30 AM

Hahaa! Don't worry, I'll try not to mention mullets for a loooong while. You have a great weekend too! I am *SIGH* cleaning. I have company coming on Friday and my house still hasn't fully recovered from my return from vacation...

Posted by: Maria at September 27, 2003 07:58 PM

Hope your weekend is going okay...we went to a bar b que yesterday (I didn't want to go) and after 2 hrs, I just got up, and walked home, the que was a neighbors a couple houses down. Jason came home later and was like "Are you okay?"..I said yeah, just didn't want to be there anymore. See Maria when you get older you can pull this kind of shit. You start realizing how precious life is and to waste one minute on a backyard full of jackasses is just unacceptable!!! I have the force of the "mullet" with me!!!!!!

Posted by: sandy at September 28, 2003 11:01 AM

I totally know what you mean Sandy. I used to have a big group of skater/snowboarder friends and every year they would hold a BBQ. And each year it would have a number. Last one I went to was BBQ 13. I couldn't do it anymore after that. And that was about five years ago. They're still doing it. It's not that I'm too old, as much as I just don't have an appreciation for the activities that are shared and the people who attend. Oh well.

I caught part of an episode of "The Mullets". Oh my god, Sandy, it's terrible. So bad. Maybe that show could have been a good concept, if it hadn't manifested into just one more ridiculous sitcom that makes people look like pathetic losers.

Posted by: Maria at October 1, 2003 10:12 PM

I watched it also and was disappointed, you're right, could have been a funny concept but apparently the writers for this show are way out of touch-some poor schlubs were stuffed in a room over a weekend and forced to come up with ideas-how many times do you think the writers went to mulletgalore.com? who writes these shows anyway? I could have written a whole season for this show just by going through my old diarys..haha...oh well, it'll get the axe I'm sure, but wait it is on UPN and man those shows suck ass...I'll be sticking with my CSI Miami and now I'm so hooked on "Missing Without a Trace". That redheaded dude from CSI is going to be the Matlock for our generation...hahaha..I love him (even though his name escapes me)

Posted by: sandy at October 2, 2003 12:19 PM