I came across the winner of the "prestigious 2003 Legal Document of the Year award" on The Smoking Gun a few days ago and sent it around to a few people. It's pure genius and frankly not something you wanna miss. ¡Muy divertido!
"Motion to Dismiss: The Constitutionality of Fuck, “Fucker” and “Fucking Fag”
Mr. So and so is charged with interference with Staff, Faculty or Students of Education Institutions, a class three misdemeanor. The charge was amended from the original charge of Disorderly Conduct.
The basis of the prosecution is an alleged statement Mr. So and so made to his principal at school. During lunch,, Mr. So and so was contacted by the vice principal for suspicion of smoking in the boy’s room. He was taken to the principal’s office where he allegedly called the principal a “fucker, a fag, and a fucking fag.” He was charged with the present offense based on his statements to the principal and he is being prosecuted for the words he spoke.
In order to provide a context for the alleged crime, we must first examine the history of Fuck and its evolution in society. Fuck’s earliest recorded use is prior to the year 1500 from the English-Latin Poem Flen Flyys: “Non sunt in celi quia fuccant uujuys of heli,” which translates to “they are not in heaven because they fuck the wives of Ely” See www.wikipedia.org/wiki/fuck."
And, quite honestly, the motion only gets better from there on out. Go on, read. Laugh...and don't forget to share it with all the people you know who are uptight about naughtiness, cussing and general delinquency, not to mention those who are all too familiar with the subject...nobody I know of course.
Posted by Maria at August 1, 2003 10:05 PM | TrackBack