Today, June 13th, 2003, is the third anniversary of the death of Tyler Raven Abel.
He died at the age of 21 years old. I knew him from the day he was born.
Rest in peace, Tyler. I love you and miss you. I know you're out there watching and knowing that you'll never be forgotten.
There're no words to say
No words to convey
This feeling inside I have for you
Deep in my heart
Safe from the guards
Of intellect and reason
Leaving me at a loss
For words to express my feelings
Deep in my heart
Look at me losing control
Thinking I had a hold
But with feelings this strong
I'm no longer the master
Of my emotions
That was the song they played at your funeral. I'll never forget how I cried and felt like I'd never stop. How I stood up in front of all of your friends and family and told them how much you mean to me and how much I'll always miss you. Well I still do. I'll never forget your beautiful clear blue eyes and the freckles on your face...and your tall, lanky stride and how you used to throw your head back and laugh with your mouth wide open to the sky. I'll never forget how funny and cool you were and how deep and thoughtful you were. I will never, ever forget the sound of your voice. I can honestly hear it now. Your distinct speaking patterns and how you would tell a story or just grumble about it being early and tired from partying and I remember how we loved to reminisce.
I remember, not long before you died, how I was worried about you because I saw you by garo's and your face was messed up and you told me you'd taken a nasty fall. You really hurt yourself. I was so worried. I thought "I hope he's okay. I hope he's taking care of himself..." I didn't know so many of the things that were going on in your head. I didn't know that you dreamed of your own death foretold. That you saw it years before...until I looked at one of your journals. With all the pictures you had cut out and pasted in there and all the thoughts I never realized you were having. I never imagined that one day I would be reading your journal, griefstricken, to find a note in it that I had written to you years before. In it I told you how special you were and that you would always be a precious friend close to my heart. I was so glad then, that you knew how much I cared about you and that I told you, even though I hadn't even remembered writing that little note until just then, years past and tragedy struck. You kept it with you all those years.
I've written to you and about you a few times since then. I hope you have access to the internet wherever you are...in heaven...hahaaa! I know you're laughing at that one. Sweet dreams Tyler.
Posted by Maria at June 13, 2003 12:17 PM | TrackBackWhen my granny passed, for a while I would write in a journal and leave it open on the kitchen table. I thought she would come in and read it. I would address it Dear Granny...it helped me so much. I don't believe in God but I believe in a persons spirit and about a week after she died I woke up one morning and felt different...stronger you know. There was this recipe she would make, hen dressing and nobody in my family can make it like her..the first Thanksgiving that she was gone, I tried again to recreate her famous dressing...it was so good, it was just like hers and I've made other recipes of hers that have come out the same way. I don't want to sound like a fruit loop here, but I think she is always nearby and at times has guided me. Her food was legendary and now I feel "gifted" that I have her cooking knowledge. I swear I couldn't cook like her until she had passed.
You keep writing to your friend Maria...I truly think he is reading it.
Thanks for your sentiments Sandy. That is so strange about your grandma's recipes!
My grandma drowned in front of me when I was three. I remember it like it was yesterday. I have always considered her my guardian angel.
I believe in ghosts, in case you didn't already know...;)
Posted by: Maria at June 17, 2003 01:43 PM