By Beauty Damned

i would have gone OFF on that. ive had to tell my friends to not send me that crap. they just assumed id love to see those damn things...

Check with your HR manager; if you can prove the email was from this coworker, you might have enough to get her fired/disciplined for harassment.

And yeah, crap like that is harassment.

See, the thing is, I know that if I forwarded that email to my boss and mentioned that I was bothered by it, he would do something about it with a quickness. I just don't know if I am ready to get her in trouble over it. I think then I might feel bad even though she irritates me to no end...I'm such a pussy.

My cousin Missy & I used to be little trouble makers. Skip school together, get high you name it. Now she is a born again Christian and every damn day she sends me an email like the ones you get from your co worker. I just delete them now w/out reading em..but it's annoying anyway. You could get her in trouble at work, but she won't stop and she'll do it at another job. Christians like her think this is their duty, they want to bring you in and have you open your heart to Jesus Christ....I may sound like a "pussy" also, but I'd let it go. She sounds like a pain in the ass, but you always have those at every job...but if you were to ever send her an offending email she'd rat on you quicker than shit...ain't life grand? hahha

I'm just evil, I guess.....

You're all shocked, I'm sure..:)

You should document them for future referance if necessary, Maria. Just in case.

Remember, CYA, CYA, CYA.

That is so damned condescending it defies comprehension.

CHRISTIANS! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(and they tried to force-feed me that shit as a child... "a formative mind is a WONDERFUL thing to brainwash") Ah well. Saw the folly of it early on when the minister asked me into his study for a 'conference'(I was a rather cherubic lad :) when I was a tender boy of 14 ;-)

Well... I'll give him one thing. He gave great... WOOPS! Forgot myself there. OH noooooooooo, I'm scarred for life. Someone yell "abuse" and find me a lawyer!

I think I'll conveniently blame my homosexuality on that oh-so-traumatic experience. NOT. Poor child he JUST couldn't help himself. (Truth be told, I'd been waiting for a good ****job, and finally BA-BOOM!)

************************************************

That condescending e-mail you received Maria is reminiscent of that old Christian adage: "Oh we LOVE the sin, but HATE the sinner"!!!!

Oh well JEEKERS! Thanks SO MUCH! Now why don't all you Bible-pounders shove that hypocritical tome up your bunghole!

No. Forget it... don't want you to have too much fun now do we??

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Whoa! Just reread my post. I think I have anger issues ;-)

That's crazy Choses! I can't believe that happened to you. Funny how, despite being traumatic, you have found a way to view the situation in order to minimize any "damage" that it might have caused. It is better for you that way. Better than feeling sorry for yourself. Even if you have every right to. Victims tend to victimize themselves further by allowing themselves to be permanently damaged. People who have hurt you don't deserve the acknowledgment that your misery would convey. Do you know what I mean or is that just too fucking cryptic? I know it's not easy to overcome profound trauma with such an attitude...

As for self righteous bible thumpers, they come in all religions and it's not always the bible that they're t-humping. Self righteousness is the child of ignorance. I think I found that in a fortune cookie. LOL! Anyway, it's true. Seems all of those self righteous a-holes forgot one of the most important things Jesus ever said: Let thou who hath not sinned cast the first stone.

Yup yup. 'Tis true.

But truth be told I'd been messin' with my buddies for several years prior to that though only "hand" stuff. (Sorry for the graphics) However, that's what piffs me off.... if most of these supposedly hetero dudes would fess up they'd tell you that most of them had a same sex experience growing up. But try to get them to admit it now and even a good stretching on the rack in a medieval torture chamber would not extract the truth.

Quick story: My best friend Karen's (dated her briefly in H.S.) husband is the world's butchest guy. You know, real "man's man" (whatever the CHRIST that means)... anyhoo...

Last summer he and Karen and I were all leaving the beach and I turned to him and said, "hey, you ever fool around with another guy when you were growing up"?? Without skipping a beat, he said "yeah, his name was Joey and we were both 13 and after Mass every Sunday we'd rush home and strip down in my dad's garage"!!!

My friend Karen did a Linda Blair "WHAT????????"

I said, "my friend you are one honorable man". Now THIS from a guy who is totally hetero and so comfortable in his own skin. He rocks.

Even with the minister thing... there was (dare I say) no huge trauma wrapped around it. I wasn't actually forced :( I was asked and I remember thinking to myself "why not". He was only about 12 years older than I was and I had a crush on him every time I listened to his sermon. Ah... "gaydar" :)

He later left the ministry and came out.

I don't mean to minimize the plight of those who think it's some horrific thing (à la the Catholic Priest thing here in Massachusetts). But I have this sense that such shame and guilt are so instilled in both the Catholic clergy and the male of the species (different ENTIRELY with Lesbians) in general re the male same-sex thing... that one cannot help but be traumatized (or act that way) if society views it as a "bad thing". That won't change until society does. (Am NOT holding my breath)

Truth be told, I suspect the Roman Catholic Church subliminally welcomes the denial piece and the whole cloistered protection of the closeted homosexual phenomenon within its heirarchy. It's been a natural haven for R.C.s who cannot deal with innate homosexuality among their ranks for generations.

Then when it's finally discovered (yeah like we all didn't know..) there's all this shock and disbelief. What the feck is UP with that???
No more stigma ... no more problem. Simple.

And I did NOT say "stigmata" ;-)

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Gee.. but it's good to speak openly. I've been so guarded at BH, the freaking flood gates are opening. Sorry folks. Can you imagine THIS POST at BH????????? Not.

You just gave me the biggest compliment. I think we should thank Sandy for being so awesome and for giving me a chance even though we started off at odds. Sandy, you are so cool for continuing to visit my site and commenting, not to mention all the other reasons why you're so cool. And thanks to everyone else here who has made blogging so much more fun with their input both here and at the fallen BH.

Hold on I need to fix a cocktail.

Okay I'm back with my gallon of vodka.

No Choses, I cannot imagine how that post would have gone over at BH. I think you would have been banned. LOL! Anywaaaay, that was a funny story. I have found that men who are comfortable with their sexuality don't have any problem admitting to that kind of thing, because they KNOW it doesn't have to put them into a box. They don't care what other people think.

My boyfriend is very comfortable with his sexuality and we have talked about this subject. He has told me about how he experimented with his mother's clothes and makeup when he was a kid. He has a good friend who is gay who tried to get a thing going a couple of times over the course of their many years of friendship. We were talking about it just the other night and I said "a lot of men wouldn't have stayed friends with him after he broached that subject" My boy said "I told him I wasn't interested and that was that. Maybe if he had kept trying and it got in the way of our friendship, but he let it rest" You would never sense even the slightest discomfort between them. It just never became a big issue. I can't stand that attitude of "I just don't want to have to see it" or "I don't want some fag hitting on me" When I hear that kind of homophobic nonsense come out of a man's mouth I always have a line "what makes you think any self respecting gay man would be attracted to you?"

My old boss had a close friend who I am sure was in the closet (gaydar:) and when my boss's wife and I would mention it, he would always say "Joe is not gay. I've been in the locker room with him and he's never looked at me like that." We would laugh and tell him "maybe he's just not attracted to hairy guys."

As for the whole clergy issue, I think one root of the problem is definitely what you mentioned about guilt and the practice of sexual/self repression. It's just not healthy. And on another level I think it is not just gay priests who abuse children. I can't stand the viewpoint of: the priests are child molesters BECAUSE they're gay. As if that could possibly be the true problem. The problem is that they're repressed and they're child molesters. Being "gay" is totally secondary to that fact.

I just rambled my little heart out. I guess that's why it's my blog. ;)

Another thing I forgot to say in response to:

"I was asked and I remember thinking to myself "why not". He was only about 12 years older than I was and I had a crush on him every time I listened to his sermon."

I was very ready, sexually, at an unusually young age. My first boyfriend when I was 13, was 23. I think about that now and I think what a cradle robber he was and that if any of my 23 year old male friends dated a 13 year old, I would think it was fuckin wacked. But when I was 13, it was no big deal. He was a rockstar and I was his muse and that made it all perfect. I was so happy and I let myself love him for three whole years. Then I realized how retarded it was and called it quits. I still talk to him occasionally. A lot of people saw it as him taking advantage of my youth and naivete, and in a way, that's true. In another way, it is not as if I didn't choose it. I was not his victim.

On the gay experiences level, my best friend and I dry humped once or twice when I was nine and a couple of silly bathtub incidents. I had serious sex with the same girl a couple of times when I was a teenager. But it just wasn't really my thing.

Choses' anger scares me..:)

*note: that was a Sarcastic Comment. Note the emoticon*

Sorry, after having 'commonfolk' misinterpret almost every humorous post of mine on BH, I just want to make sure that Everybody Gets It.

I always love the raging homophobes I get sometimes in my unit.....they'll inevitably piss somebody in the platoon off, and I'll have to 'counsel' them. The first thing I say is "Ever had a homosexual experience?" They deny it rabidly, of course. The next thing I say is, "Ever consider that you might be missing something?" Then they go into shock, and I inform them that the only thing that the Army cares about is whether you can Do Your Bloody Job, so STFU and let their superiors worry about the Worldwide Gay/Lesbian Conspiracy To Take Over The World.

Note: I run an INFANTRY platoon. These are not the brightest guys in the world, altho you would, perhaps, be surprised. Right now, there are 2 soldiers in my platoon that are gay, and yes, they could be kicked out for it (policy). They happen to be some of my best troops, and while they are low-key, it isn't a secret. Most of my troops (MOST of them...) don't have any issues with it, except for certain Problem Children that I have to give The Speech to.

I also make them do a term paper on the Theban Sacred Bands....they usually wish I had just given them a counseling statement and a week of extra duty..;)

Yes, the lieutenant that nominally runs the platoon considers me Absolutely Insane..:)

And that co-worker of Maria's isn't a 'Christian'...I know real Christians, and you can always tell them by the fact they never, ever, shove their faith onto anyone else.

And no, Chose, I ain't a Christian. So there. Nyah.

"the Worldwide Gay/Lesbian Conspiracy To Take Over The World."

Laugh my ass off. That is just too fucking accurate of a description for the way some idiots think.

You all made me think of a funny story...I'll try to be brief..My Uncle Wayne, one bad dude right..used to come to all the family get togethers w/a 6pack of Budweiser tallboys under his arm. He was in prison, dope addict the whole nine yards...well one day he found the Lord. My granny was so happy that her son had finally straightened out, she wasn't religious but was happy that he quit drinking and had finally got a job..a legal one anyway. He became Brother Wayne, a deacon in the church and that's all he talked about...the Lord this, God that...my granny couldn't take it anymore, she said, "I love my son, but god damn he's wearing on my nerves." One day Wayne shows up w/the 6 pack of beer, cussing, smoking his Marlboro Reds..he had fallen off the wagon. My granny watched him from the kitchen for a while than threw her arms up in the air and said, "Thank the Lord, my son done came to his senses, now maybe I can stand him again".

Oh Maria, no need to thank me babe..you could have easily told me to fuck off and you didn't...and I'll have you know that all my great friendships have started out rocky...if I ever like someone at first I always wind up hating them within a week...don't ask....Choses will remember, him & I didn't exactly start out holding hands either...remember Choses...I always knew in the beginning of me posting at the BH he would be out there.."busting my chops". I'm very very happy he is posting here w/us...I knew you two would have interesting conversations and I'm loving it...I feel like the hick on the sidelines sometimes..haha..but that's okay..as we say in Georgia...ya'll sho do talk purdy...

*sniffs*

You two still owe me The Mother Of All Catfights, dammit!!

*waits for his catfight*

*blushing all ovaa*

I'm the same when it comes to friendships. One of my bestest friends, Darcie and I met when she told me in class that she thought my outfit was slutty and I proceeded to flip her off from the window of a car next time I saw her. One day we got left alone up in the woods with no car and nothing but a bottle of Cptn. Morgan's spiced rum and a deck of cards. Like peas and carrots, ever since.

maria
you have left too much out of this one girl..how did you wind up in the woods? there is a story there..come on it's Tuesday..I'm drinking..spill the beans honey...hahaha

Okay you twisted my arm and I'm on my second screwdriver, sooo...

My best friend moved into this big huge haunted house out in the sticks with seven other people we knew from hanging around. I was 16 and she was 18. I stayed there more than I stayed at my own place and it just so happened, that after all that shit with me and Darcie being rivals, she lived in the house too. It was way out there on this old Highway 99 in Oregon. Big scary green house that everyone called "the Whorehouse" because it had apparently once been a major stop on an old stagecoach road where you could happen upon some loose women. We had a lot of wild parties there and sometimes, in the morning, you might just wake up to find out that anyone who had a car was gone and unless you wanted to rollerblade your ass into town, you were pretty much stuck all day. So that's what happened. Two teenagers, me and her, her boyfriend had left with his car, Kathleen had left with hers. No way into town, a bottle of booze, and a deck of cards. That's how it all started.

Thank you..haha..I'm on beer number 3..I needed closure maria..
We used to hang out in this one "shack"...I have a picture of it..I wished I had a scanner I would show you..anyway, it was occuppied by slaves at one time. I won't say we partied there because it never seemed right, but there was Bear Creek running behind it and we'd hang out and intertube--when we'd sit on the steps of the shack we'd all get really quiet. We'd heard the stories, I guess it was out of respect that we didn't trash the place...too many ghosts I guess.

I wish I could go camping and tell ghost stories right now. Living in the city sucks. I need a minibreak.

At the house I just told you about, the doors had to be removed from all of the cabinets because they would open and shut at night. There were weird "cold spots" in the house. And I'm not talking about a draft. One day a tree fell outside onto our friend's car. And yes, I mean a big tall 50 foot tree - FELL - in the middle of a calm summer day, right outside. Talk about a bit of a shock. Strange shadows were seen, mysterious movement around the house heard, so many bizarre things happened and way too many people had been witness, including my own eyes. That shit made a believer out of me man.

Dude, I totally fucking believe in the "supernatural"...okay I gotta ask..do you know if anybody still lives there? I believe but would admit I'd be outta there in a New York minute..haha..that makes me think, can't remember the comedian maybe Eddie Murphy...but he made fun of all the white people in horror movies who wouldn't move out..he was joking that a brother would be hitting the pavement at the first sign of some spooky shit..oh man it's true..white people are SCARY..

CHRIST!!!

I leave you girls alone for two houahs and your gettin' all liquored up and talkin' nasty!!

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE CALL ME????? :(

My boyfriend's dead ass is on the couch and his mouth is open catchin' flies... *hmmmm mouth open.. nope nevahmind* (too much sweaty yahd work Sandra........ hmmmm *sweaty* :)

Anyway where was I?? oh yeah, I wanna drink dammit. I'll be back aftah I mix my first margarita! Don't anyone MOVE!!!!

*kindly do NOT fail to notice I'm using my FINEST BAWSTIN ACCENT in this post ;-)

Hey MIKE?? You're not such a bad sort aftah all man. Like your homophobe lecture! DUDE!!!! Who'd a thunk???

Man that took a long time to catch up! And I never even read the original post that started it all! Hi Choses, Sandy, Mike! Maria, is that THE Maria?!?! Wow, the stuff of legend! That catfight had me running for popcorn and handtowels until it was squashed :( Looks like I had a pretty dull childhood; never wanted to dress in women's close or do anything kinky with my guy friends (sorry Choses, but I wouldn't lie to you man ;) Just spent most of my time drinking and smoking and wishing I could remove some women's clothes. Hee hehe; sure there's lots of new posts to read since it took me a half hour to get this far, so let's just hit the little button and see what's new...

PS - Captain and coke #2; 20 oz glass. Could be a good night!! :)

YAY!

YIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Lee's here!! :-)

All the greatest 'rejects' from BH are now officially aboard. All is right with the world.

Wait ... wait..

Lee, my man it's NEVAH too late.... latency runs deep :)

*Chosesinconnues officially opens his recruiting booth a the local JUNIOR High*

Glad to see you too buddy; now what the hell's going on?? I'm half drunk and I think it would take me a week to catch up on everything here!

I didn't know I was a reject :)

Sandy, where'dya go?? I got two emails saying to come check this out and then where are ya? I'm drinking dammit!!

'preciate the thought but don't think I'd pass the physical. Just got 3 students assigned today and was bummed cuz I got a wrestler, football player and a volleyball player. Dammit, last semester I had female soccer players and gymnasts! Ohh the humanity!

Maria, was that a standing ovation? Thanks :)

*blushes and takes a bow*

Yes it was Lee. :) I got so used to all of you at BH, even though I could never comment. I guess I just assumed you guys knew I was always reading. That was silly of me. Anyway it's so nice for all of you to drop in.

I don't know what happened to Sandy. Maybe she needed a nap...

I just can't believe it, that redheaded feisty Irishwoman can't POSSIBLY be drunk enough to pass out already! Ferchrist's sake, she's a PROFESSIONAL! Someone toss a hammer at her :)

Hey, this place looks like fun, but all the posts are so LONG it's taking me a long time to find everyone; where's the working threads right now? I just finished reading up on the "Wow" thread; is there any other currently active one I should read?? Or am I better off just staying here?

Coolness. Lee has arrived..>P:)

I was a 'reject'?

My heart breaks..:)

Ah but a truly black evil heart cannot be broken so easily, my man! Especially a PLATOON SERGEANT! As former Tech Sergeant (your AF equivalent) I know we're made of tougher stuff. That's right, Choses, drool man, drool ;) Ah, ah, no touch!! Oh the Captain is working wonders tonight ;)

Nah Lee, you aren't missing anything. Sandy has been here since way back when I got banned from BH(it's in the archives and linked to "Wow") and everybody else kind of showed up after BH comments went down.

I'm really glad you like my site. Sorry the comments are so long. I get going on my tangents.

Anyway, feel free to say what you want, where you want, whenever you want. ;)

S'alright! I'm sure once I catch up (without my C'pt Morgan blinders on) I'll know my way around :) Hey, is that you in the pic on top? If so, you're hot ;)

I'm just wondering where everyone went. I get these two emails from Sandy saying Dude, come here and chat, and when I do everyone leaves! Hmmph. >:( Well, at least YOU'RE here! OK, gotta go mix my third 20 oz rum and coke. Glad I work on a flexible schedule :)

Hey..I do what all good drunks do..I make long distance phone calls when I'm tipsy..haha..just got off the phone w/ my cousin Jenny....I'm still drinking..this Irish girl ain't done yet..:)

Well, then ignore my last email :) Guess it's just you and me! ;)

lee
good to see you buddy :)

Good to see you too; or at least your typing ;)

Cheers!

*glug glug*

Hey man....what.you think I'm some kind of a lush?hahah..I'm supposed to be reading HTML right now but Jason gave me a book I bet you've read...Schroedinger's Cat...I am no brain here, but cannot put this book down. How do I say this w/out sounding stupid?...it makes quantum physics seem simple. I just never would have dreamed that someone like me could possiblely understand this..it's fabulous.

What does Schrodinger's cat have to do with HTML? :) Good stuff, isn't it? The concepts will blow your mind; it's the math that'll kill ya! I start my third semester of quantum in the fall; got an A- in the first upper level last semester. I just love the concept of the cat being in a mixed state of "dead" and "not dead." Or is that "alive" and "not alive?" :) My quantum textbook has a live cat on the front and a dead cat on the back. So cool...

No Lee, that is Clara Bow (silent movie actress). I did post some pictures in my May archives "Jenni & Me". You have to click on the text to view the photos.
click here to go there:
http://bybeauty.blogon.com/archives/000058.html#000058

Saw 'em; you're still cute darlin' ;) Darn Sandy drug me here last night and then dumped me; I was so wired on Captain and Coke I ended up staying up until 5 reading through everything! Don't ask why; I kept looking at the clock wondering what the hell I was still doing up, but then I would just go pour myself another drink! Love the site; think I know more about you then I do about my own brothers!

Guess I'm just way too young to recognize silent movie actresses :)

Aw that's so nice of you!

Once I get drinking it's very hard for me to settle down and go to bed, but I have to force myself so that I'm not late to work in the morning. I am flattered that you would stay up getting blotto and perusing my site.

Now you know me better than many people that THINK they know me that have never read anything here...isn't that ironic?

*wink, wink *

Well, getting to know someone takes a time investment; even if it's unintentional and alcohol-induced! Fortunately (unfortunately?) I do research for my summer work (I'm an old college student) so my hours are flexible; it's all results-oriented and I can work when I want. Makes it tough to actually get work done though; gotta have that self-discipline thing!

Anyway, I do have to go today; it's free meal and physics lecture day, and now that I'm tutoring again I do actually have appointments I gotta keep! But I'll be back ;)

I got tired reading all of the responses so if I am repeating someone forgive me. Ignoring someone like this just pisses them off. Make sure that you get them help or understand ther motive or you will end up like the most recent tragedy in Meridien MS. I think in this day and time you can't ignore ANY and I mean ANY antagination in your corporate environment. Your last words could be I didn't want to make trouble.