I've always had a love/hate relationship with Pamela Anderson.
She's gorgeous, that's obvious, and she's blond, also obvious, she has gigantic breasts, unavoidable, she claims not to have any plastic surgery beyond her breasts, I believe her and I really don't give that much of a shit anyway. People are free to do what they want. I just wouldn't do it. That doesn't mean other people can't if they want to. Just don't get on the fucking internet and ask other people to pay for it. That's annoying.
She's written a couple of articles for Jane, which I read every now and again. They have that trademark ditzy tone to them, but she's not altogether intellectually challenged (I think), and I do enjoy reading her babble. I guess I really don't hate her at all, except when my boyfriend momentarily ogles, but even that I have learned to forgive, because she is after all, beautiful, blond and big breasted. You can't hold that against a girl...or a person for noticing and admiring.
But today is a different day. And I received my June issue of Stuff magazine in the mail today (finally, after seeing them on the newsstands for 2 weeks.) and there's Pammy, in all her airbrushed glory, looking like a classic pinup girl, with a red, white and blue rectangle over her ass that says "For The Boys." I can dig it. I've been anticipating the arrival of my favorite magazine. Of course, nothing's changed. It's as funny and stupid and full of bathroom humor as ever. The Pam layout is ten pages long. It's all done in that sort of Olivia style, superdramatic airbrush action, cool. But the interview. Ooh, the interview.
The interview is another thing. I'm just not feeling any brainpower emanating from her and I don't think it's just because they're asking stupid questions like they always do.
Here is the one I disliked the most:
Q: What do you think of women in the military?
Pam: Obviously, women are not as strong as men, and they could be taken advantage of. But I think if Americans said "Look, no women can go to Iraq," there would have been a huge problem about it. I don't think you can win either way.
Dimwit.
(Excuse me while I act very, very childish)
And this is the one I loved the very most:
Q: What are you reading right now?
Pam: The Bible. I haven't gotten to the good parts yet. I'm, like, halfway through. I'm glad that I'm finally reading it though.
Haaaa! Thank you Pam, for making me laugh today. She hasn't gotten to the good parts yet...! :oD And only moments before that:
Q: What's pretty about Pammy?
Pam: ...I like smoky eyes. And I like to be naked [for photo shoots]. I'm like, "Clothes? Take them away!"
In a way, her trampiness is endearing...
A final word?
Pam: I've never seen a small penis, and I don't think I've ever had a bad date.
You're wonderful.
Pam: I'm blessed.
It comes from reading the bible.
Pam: [...] I'm going to church right after this! Get me in some holy water...
There is this one photo of her wearing these underpants that have a peephole for the booty crack and a big satin bow. She is wearing plush pink suede stacked shoes. That one deserves framing. Girlfriend, I need to learn how to make skins...
Posted by Maria at May 27, 2003 07:50 PMOh man I love Stuff magazine..a friend gave us a subscription as a gift last year and I'm hooked..this is off the Pam subject, but didn't you just love the Penny Pincers segment? I loved number 3...don't be afraid to haggle..too funny...
Posted by: sandy at May 27, 2003 11:21 PMOh my gosh, comparing the 2001 layout to the 2003 layout is scary.
And just this weekend, there was a replay of her interview about how she "just wanted her natural body" back.
I think her sons are going to have a rough time.
Posted by: Rori at May 28, 2003 03:40 AMSandy:
Stuff is my fave. Sometimes they are full of chauvinist crap and fratboy humor, but I still laugh because they just don't give a f**k.
There was a segment one time about a year ago that featured "people carrying crazy shit on their heads" I have never laughed so hard. People carrying everything from sewing machines to huge bushels of greens on their heads. The captions were of exemplary quality.
Rori: Thanks for stopping by! I agree that it would be a little confusing to have Pammy as mommy. Aaaargh. >:/
Posted by: Maria at May 28, 2003 11:14 AMoh I think I remeber that article...I just love the little pineapple guy :) I get more excited about the magazine than my husband does....it is definitely full of chauvinist humor but I don't give a crap...I can't make myself read Redbook, Womans World, etc...I even enjoy the layouts and I catch myself saying out loud, "Woo Hoo this bitch is hot"...haha..I loved Alyssa Milanos layout, she was gorgeous.
Posted by: sandy at May 28, 2003 12:42 PMRandy the Pineapple! Got to love him! I agree that women's magazines are not nearly as much fun. I get a subscription to Harper's Bazaar too and I personally find it more demeaning to women than a lot of men's magazines. I get so sick of reading crap like "If you don't have these 8 summer essentials, you are a total nobody - [and each one of these things will cost you an entire paycheck!]" and seeing photos of these sickly looking girls at runway shows. I think women's magazines place an unreasonable pressure on women to be a certain way, with the exception of a precious few. (What's that statistic? Within ten seconds of opening the average fashion magazine, a woman's self esteem drops considerably) It's ironic that when viewing mens mags, I don't feel that same pressure, despite the sexy layouts, I don't find myself saying "give that girl a sandwich!" half as often and I don't feel like my intelligence is being insulted by the materialistic content. "Stuff" is all about a laugh and and an eyebrow wiggle. What about WalMart taking it off the shelves for it's "racy covers"? Meanwhile, Cosmo will stay. (???)
Posted by: Maria at May 28, 2003 01:24 PMaah yes the essential items for summer..I guess I don't get fashion..I'm all about comfort and when a woman is comfortable she can exude that and that's beauty. I'm not talking sweatpants, because personally I find those for the house, I absolutely hate to see a woman in any store wearing sweats or flip flops...sandals are great...flip flops are for the beach...I love clothes and I'm a shopaholic but don't own half of what the fashion mags refer to as "essentials"...I've gained so much weight since I quit working so my new best friend is Linen..I'm so self conscious about my "arm flab" so I can wear long sleeve linen in the summer..:)
I must have been under a rock, I didn't know Wal Mart took Stuff off the shelves...I absolutely refuse to shop Wal Mart anyway..I started seeing how small town America was being bulldozed over by this company and it makes my heart sick, so I pay more to find a local merchant. Cosmo, who fucking reads Cosmo anymore? Since I read your posts I've been sitting on the floor flipping thru all my old copies of Stuff....been sitting here reading and laughing...man I gotta dig out all my old Bloom County books too....thanks Maria, you've made me pull boxes out and now I have a mess...:)
LOL! Yes WalMart sucks. I have never shopped there because I believe they take advantage by manufacturing products that are cheap and will not last so that instead of providing lower income people with a good product, they provide them with one that will soon need replacing, thereby costing them more money instead of less. On a corporate level, they have reached a whole new level of fuckedupness. And yes, they are taking Stuff off the shelves. And, yes, there are idiots left in the world that read Cosmo. I have even bought it a couple times (not recently) only to be freshly appalled at the contents. Stuff is where it's at! Yaaay stuff!
Posted by: Maria at May 28, 2003 03:41 PMThere's this local owned tire shop in town and a new Super Wal Mart just opened up right across the street from it..They have a huge banner all across the side of Wal Mart that says.."WE HAVE TIRES" That pissed me off so fucking much..I'm waiting to see how long this poor schmuck will be driven out of business..I don't want to ask a stupid question here but are you in New York City? If you are...don't you all still have alot of the open air markets and such?
It takes me all day to shop anymore because I drive all over town for certain things..the India Bazaar for my sandlewood incense sticks, curry and chai tea..korean market for alot of veggies, german market for deli meat and bread...etc..I don't find shopping in a grocery store or a Super Store to be much fun and I think you cheat yourself out of soaking up different cultures. Okay sorry to hog your posts and I'm way off the Pam Anderson subject..but was reading her interview and I'm shaking my head..I mean I KNOW what Kid Rock sees in her, but think he would be happier with me..haha..I love that man...
That's okay if you veer off subject. I really don't mind. As you can see, I don't get many comments, so it's cool. It's nice to know I'm not always just talking to myself when I blog, though I don't particularly mind talking to myself. I've been doing the writing thing a long time...
That sucks about the WalMart across from the local tire shop. Totally reminded me of the Subway sandwichshop that opened downstairs from my office and put the little deli next door out of business. It was so sad seeing the looooooong line outside the Subway during lunchtime, meanwhile you could hear crickets chirping inside the mom & pop deli. Finally, they had to shut down. Bummer. Yes I'm in NYC and I love the small business aspect. In my neighborhood, there are a lot of small groceries, privately run shops and restaurants. That is one of the things I love the most about it here. I grew up in Cali and in Oregon. NYC is so different. I love being able to get anything, almost anytime, but there are a couple things I definitely miss about small town life too.
Kid Rock: the jury is still out on that one. I love that song "Only God Knows Why" but he kinda bugs with the egotistical rock star thing. I don't know why that sort of arrogance irritates me so much...probably something I don't like so much about myself...
Posted by: Maria at May 28, 2003 07:15 PMThat's too funny...his ego is what I kinda like about him..couple years ago Chris Rock hosted the MTV music awards and asked,"What happened to all the white rocker guys?" For me Kid Rock brought back the fucking rock guy, the groupies, the beer guzzling at 9am...I love it. I've seen him in some interviews where he acts "normal" and he seems like one helluva guy, really nice, warm and caring....I can't help it though, I like that white trash personna thing he's got going on..
Posted by: sandy at May 28, 2003 09:09 PMTrue. I have to give him that. There just aren't that many trailer trash rockers out there anymore. It is kind of cute...
Posted by: Maria at May 28, 2003 10:12 PM