There is this train conductor who works the W Train some evenings when I am on my way home. She makes me laugh because she can't pronounce her Rs. She says "This is a Bwooklyn bound W twain. Stand cleaw of the closing doowas."
I just giggle silently to myself about it because if I turned to someone else on the train to see if they might share in the mirth, it is likely they would just look at me with that blank stare that is so commonly seen in the big city and my moment of humor will be crushed. You know what I'm talking about? That big city poker face that people always put on when they leave the house in the morning. They put it on and keep it on, even if they are packed onto a train and they can't move and it stinks and everybody is late, no one breaks that face. I can't stand how everybody is so stoic and emotionless on the train. Someone could be getting killed right in front of them and they would just maintain that straight ahead expression. That "this is none of my business and I couldn't care less" face. Even if you speak to someone first they look hesitant to respond, like you must want something. If you ask someone for the time they can't seem to believe that is all you want. "Just the time? Are you sure? Well, that sounds easy enough..." In New York, it's all about minding your own damn business. I have so much to say on that subject that I am going to stop there and obsess about it some other time.
Anyways, the lady who can't pronounce her Rs is so funny. I feel like she should be the voice of a cartoon character. (She chose the wrong profession). When I was a little kid, before I had speech therapy, I couldn't pronounce my Rs either (Or my S's). Thank god my parents were perceptive enough to make sure the speech impediment didn't stick around. The kid next door used to come over to my apartment just to ask me to say "rollercoaster."
Posted by Maria at March 4, 2003 05:54 PM | TrackBack